A
female
age
36-40,
*-carlie--
writes:dear cupid i really need some help . i have been living with my boyfreind almost a year . we have always had trust issues and ive always confronted him when i think something is going on . we used to live far apart and saw each other once a month . since we have lived together my accusations have got much worse , i have become controlling and obsessive . my boyfreind never goes out and didnt untill recently even have a mobile phone . when he does go out i am always worried and sulk for days . i also treat him badly when i think he has cheated . he has told me constantly that he loves me and would never cheat but a part of me thinks he is . we are almost on the verge of breaking up thanks to my accusations . i really love him and want to trust him , what do you think the best thing for me to do is ? please help angela Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 This is your issue and not this. Have you been cheated on before? Do you have issues about being rejected from your childhood? Parents split or Dad leave? Abandonment issues? Mom didn't love you? Jealously and mistrust stem from our own fears and self-esteem issues. You really do need to look into this - some form of coucelling - if you can't figure it out for yourself. You have really painted the picture here, this is driving a wedge between you and you are running the risk of driving him away, It sounds like he is a decent guy (not the type to run around). Men who are questioned all the time about trust issues feel like their integrity is being attacked. It is something men are extemely touchy about, they pride themselves on other people having faith in them. If he feels you don't have any faith in him, how does he love you in return? There is nothing he can do to reassure you, he doesn't go out much, he's always telling you he loves you... The only person who can change is You! If you can't figure out why you have become controlling and obsessive on your own, get some help from a professional. Everyone needs a little help at some point in their life. Good Luck and Take Care.
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