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How can I show him that I'll be there for him regardless of anything and that he has nothing to fear?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have been talking to this guy for about 2 and a half months. We have been really hitting it off. We both absolutely like each other and have soo much in common its like seeing myself in a mirror.

he treats me like his girlfriend, he holds my hand, kissing me , we make out. he wont ask me out because he has commitment issues. he doesnt realise that being official is just a title and that regardless it wouldnt have an affect on us. i dont mind waiting a month or year or however long it takes for him to be willing to ask me to be his girlfriend. i used to have trust issues due to past experiences and he changed that in me . i want to help him with his commitment problems not by making him ask me out but i need ways to show him that all relationships dont fail and that i would never hurt him.

my question is how can I show him that I'll be there for him regardless of anything and that he has nothing to fear.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010):

Please don't be offended when I say: You're already playing a game. When you lay down and roll around with someone doing things committed people do, wondering when he'll call and if he'll ask you out, ooooh yeah, you're playing a game. Keeping the other guy guessing and wondering what the future and truth is, is called: "Game".

Going back to the original question of how do you show him you are there for him; You are doing it. Not even words are as good as how you're showing him now.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

but i dont wanna play games. its immature n childish. i believe him about having commitment issues and he knows i wont go any further into our contact unless we have been going out officially for a while he doesnt mind at all. i kno hes been burned in the past. i trust him. he jsut needs to see tht i wont hurt him if he asks me out and idk how to show him i truely car bout him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010):

when you say he won't ask you out but he will put his hands and mouth on your body, he is keeping you where he wants you. To test the being used theory, turn it around on him: remove your interest in commitment. Tell him you're happy with the make outs and that is all; you need not go out with him as you don't want commitment. Watch his reaction as he puts the math together.

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A male reader, De LuV DOCTOR Nigeria +, writes (31 July 2010):

De LuV DOCTOR agony auntIn love, actions speak louder than words.I dont like telling the one i love, all the time how much i love her.But i love showing her how much i love her and how important she is to me.So i urge you not to tell your BF love but show him love and leave the rest in the hands of the super natural power of love...I wish you luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

so your suggesting that he doesnt mean that he has commitment issues but is using that as an excuse to keep his options open?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010):

Sounds like you're showing him your commitment now. You are his make out partner, and you consistently participate in regular affection with only him.

When a man shares sex acts of any sort or level on a regular and consistent basis while he refuses to make (his definition of) a commitment, it is an excuse he uses to keep his options open. Thusly using you, even though you are enjoying yourself and your perception of the relationship.

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