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male
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anonymous
writes: Hello all,Im in a 4 month relationship with a woman, and we hit it off in so many areas. She has gone through some emotional struggles over the last year and has enjoyed and sought out my support which I have given willingly and lovingly. Now that she is on the road to getting her stuff resolved, I feel like i may be a bit smothering, but only partially due to my own efforts. We make a habbit of spending the weekend together and also wed nights. there was a period of two weeks recently that we spent the every night together. Most of the additional time spent was because she asked me to come over and be there with her.I love the time together, and we enjoy it all, but we are back on our normal date times, and im fine with that, but feel like now that shes on the road to becoming self sufficient, that i have become smothering (i.e. compliments, very supportive etc)i can see a long life with this woman, and dont want to ruine a great thing. I dont want to smother, and my question is, how can i remain supportive without smothering, and do i let her know that im thinking this, or just take action and make changes in how I am there for her?she means alot to me, and the last thing id want is to taint the good with any bad.Thanks all
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 You know, you read so many stories on this site about people neglecting one another - HOW REFRESHING to see someone concerned about being too attentive!!
I would'nt worry about it, unless she has hinted that you are coming on a bit strong. It seems to have worked thus far, - or at least from what I have read.. You have known her a while now, so if you have any concerns just mention it to her, say how you feel and tell her that she can be totally honest with you.
If you are both doing things separately as well as together, and giving one another breathing space, this is the healthy way forward.
You sound like a great guy, and I doubt if she thinks you are smothering her at all - she has, as you say, sought out your help, and asked you to be there with her, so don't worry - just be there when she needs you, and keep contact with all your friends and hobbies, etc.
As long as she is going out with her friends too it seems like the perfect balance. Keep up the good work :o) you sound really nice, and she is a lucky girl to have such a caring man in her life, it certainly is no bad thing! I wish you both well..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfyi, we are both in our 30s.
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