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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi all, can someone please tell me how to keep dignified and strong. I was seeing a guy I have known for years for the past 3 months, stupid I know, he is going through a divorce (has 2 children with his wife) has bought a house and lives separately from his family, and shares responsibility of his children. He asked me out and I couldnt say no. We had a fantastic time, he asked me to be his girlfriend and as I knew he was divorcing (his wife has cheated many times) I thought it would be fine. His ex is not coping very well with the children, and feels lonely so I took myself out of the situation and ended it telling his its all too messy and he needs to sort his own head out and his life. I deleted his number and have not contacted him once, that was 3 wks ago. We were due to go to a concert last week together (obviously as were over I wouldnt have gone) but I found out he went with his wife. Im not a nasty person, I didnt lure him away from his wife, they were living apart for 11 months before I went out with him. I know when we were together he really wanted to be with me and told be constantly, and his love for his ex has gone. I dont know if they are back together, and I would never try to stop them as kids involved. I just feel a bit low and want to keep my dignity and move on. I live in a small place and am bound to see him soon, but I dont want to have a go at him and I want everything to seem like I am living just fabulously without him.. how can I do this?
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female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 You are obviously very together and have your head screwed on. Keep your head held high. If you see him smile and be pleasant and make some small talk and then move on. Always act like you are really busy and that you can't stop to talk. You have behaved very well and have nothing to feel ashamed about. Behaving with dignity and decorum in difficult times is very hard but it gives you the upper hand always. So many many times I have not behaved in this manner and have regretted it instantly whereas when i have put a brave face on things and behaved correctly things have gone a lot better and I am perceived in a more positive light. I don't think anyone can give you any guidance on this- you are already there so just carry on as you are. Very good luck.
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