A
female
age
41-50,
*ovegirl09
writes:I am not sure how should I deal with this. I really like my boyfriend and starting to fall for him, we have been together for 4 months now. Things were great until few weeks ago I made a stupid mistake: I couldn't see him because his daughters were caught stealing at the mall and they have been very bad in school (suspended, driking, stealing etc, they are 14 lives with him and 18 lives with the mother) so he had to deal with them, which is fine. I felt upset that I couldn't see him but understood that he needs to take care of his daughters as they are very important in his life (we see each other on the weekend as we live an hour away from each other), I didn't tell him that I was upset infact I was very supportive of him etc. I needed to vent to a friend so I texted my friend and said "I can't see him this weekend, his daughters got caught stealing at the mall, stupid American teenagers" But instead of sending the text to my friend I sent the text to him and he got upset. He didn't talk to me for 2 days and I did apologize for many times and explain the reason why. We are fine, and he also apologize that he didn't call me for 2 days and kept me in the dark; his reason was that he needed to talk to his sponsor (he is alcholic).So then I saw him this last weekend and I ask him if I am out off the dog house, and he said that I never was in the dog house, he is not sure how long this will go on. I said to him that I don't know how long this will go on either but we should see where and how long we will do this. I also explain to him that if he has a change of heart he should just tell me and let me go.Things have been slightly different after this incident, he doesn't call me for 2 nights (he usually call me to say good night and talk about our day before I go to sleep) and I feel like he is afraid that I will run away.I feel that he is the one who has no faith in me, he seems like not believing that this is happening to him, a girl like me who is really into him. He told me once: "I am just surpised that you haven't kicked me to the kerb yet" How can I really show him that I really care and am really into him? I know I need to take the time and let him do what he needs to do (finishing his 12 steps, dealing with daughters, back to managing his life, etc) at his on pace, but how can I show him that all I want is just to be there for him and for him to go back to normal with me ??Thank you for respond and sorry for the very long story.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (31 May 2007):
 You answered your own question. Just be there and be supportive. He will appreciate your steadfastness and kindness during the difficult times and you will reap the benefits when things lighten up. In other words just keep on being your loving self, you'll be just fine.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): Oh sweety how many times have i done that, Your mind is so focused on your man he is all you could think about and SEND!!!! before you no it its the one person you didnt want to txt but its to late, doesnt that say something to you or him for that matter, Yes your sorry you didnt mean to upset him he has alot going on i no how that feels.(YOU CANT SCARE ME I HAVE CHILDREN!!!!!)Thats on my fridge magnet. try to explain to him why the text went to him, its because i cant get you out my head you didnt mean it in a nasty way as you said you were upset all us women need a mate when were upset over a man. why not buy a card to cheer him up, i no his children are causing alot of problems at the moment thats bad enough but he is also getting help for the alcohol (my sons an alcoholic) you have alot to deal with BUT you are still there, Its so hard for you just try and be patient hard as it may be and do little things now and again to suprise him he should realise you are there for him in the end from what you have written it is very obvious to me how much you care, At the end of the day not everyone would or could be under the circumstances, I think your doing great so good luck and take care of you
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