A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife accuses me time and time again of cheating. She has also tried to hack into my facebook and myspace. I have proved to her time and time again that I'm not cheating by letting her look at my accounts and also she goes through my phone and I have to tell her every number and all that and she stills thinks that I'm cheating! What am I supposed to do??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): I know where she's coming from, big time. She;s checking your phone & trying to hack your accounts and otherwise picking you apart for evidence becasue she's got it into her head that she's not keeping your attention and that you don't respect her enough to tell her the truth. Do you lie to her, lied to her? You got a herd of ladyfriends hanging around? Do you travel for work a lot? You take her with you when you go somewhere? You keep a seperate socail life? I guess I would sum it up like this to you dude- She's not proud of invading your privacy but she's desperate to know the truth. To her, you don't respect her or you dont want to hurt her feeling but either way she doesn't think you tell her the truth. Logic and rational don't have much to do with these things. Even if she's dropdead gorgous and you don't think you've given her any reason to think you'de cheat, she can totally go over the deep end. If your in this for the long run then be patient. Invite her along more often. Be totally open with her. Im mean, its a battle at first- but tell her everything. If your not really up to something shady but you think its a good idea to leave out a few details because you think it will piss her off - DONT! Sh*t like that makes an insecure woman a very insecure woman who now questions everything. I'de show her this advice column right here to start. Because Dude, if your seeking advice you're already way cooler than my ex. To me it shows you actually care. Don't let a misunderstanding screw everything up. She doesnt currently feel like she's worthy of your love or maybe like she's just repalceable. A lot of a womans obsessing stems from insecurities. But her behavior is totally linked to yours. DOn't get angry if she's checking your phone- let her. after a while of finding nothing, she'll quit.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (14 February 2010):
 oopps i mean nail not nil. My "a" key is sticky
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (14 February 2010):
Go Eddie you good thing. You hit the nil right on the head with your reply. Excellent answer!!!
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A
male
reader, defeated  +, writes (13 February 2010):
sounds like she is trying to justify something she is doing, flip it around and see what happens
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (13 February 2010):
 How can you prove to your wife that you washed your hands yesterday after you used the bathroom? You can't! Somw things can't be proven. You can't prove you DIDN'T do something. How can you prove you don't have a huge crush on the woman next door? You can't! It's impossible to prove you don't. There is no tangablle thing you can bring out to prove you don't. Here's the thing. Unless you're not telling everything, you're not obligated to be on trial and pay a price for something you didn't do. As long as you give in to her accusations and accomodate her desire for reassurance you will continue to feed her demands.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (12 February 2010):
I think your wife needs some therapy. She obviously has trust issues that need some work. I fear if she doesn't sort it out it will be the end of your marriage. No relationship can sustain that level of paranoia
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): One of the main reasons women, or men for that matter, worry about their significant other cheating is because they themselves have been or are guilty of the same offense.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): I have a question. Why does she have to hack into facebook and myspace, why isn't she on there as one of your friends?
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