A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I find it really difficult to maintain any form of relationship with women of my age. My problems do not stem from being unable to talk to women, I can talk but I can't feel comfortable in their company. I feel anxious around them, like they are constantly judging me or thinking that I am weird. I don't like to make eye contact with women that I pass on the street for fear of them thinking I'm perving on them. I don't hunch over and look at the floor, just look in another direction.I avoid girls I have previously asked out but failed to act upon for fear of making things more awkward.I know my behaviour is making things more awkward with women but I really don't know what to do otherwise. They probably already think that I am weird beyond redemption. I don't know why I feel so tense around them, maybe I think all girls chat about guys to avoid and I don't ever want to offend them...I really want to be comfortable around women so I can have any chance of getting to know them and find women I can form a relationship with.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (25 June 2012):
It all comes back to confidence, and it sounds like you need to get yourself a bit more than you have right now.
When speaking to a woman, you need to absolutely believe she is as lucky to be talking with you as you are with her. If she cant see that, then you are fine moving on to someone else.
Women love confidence above almost all other things about men. It may take you a while to work on it, but you need to get it. Im sure there are many good qualites you have - focus on them and move on from there.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Start with eye contact. Hold it til they look away n smile. This is a subtle but clear sign to women ur dominant n confident. They wont think ur creepy unless u have a glass eye or hannibal lecter haircut. Ur displaying paassive behavior. Women hate this man. Read attraction isnt a choice. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, seeyes22 +, writes (25 June 2012):
You need to remember they are just people. Ask them quesions about themselves. Women love to talk. You cannot lose what you do not have. So no fear to talk to one. Women are just like men, fear bothers them also.Be courageous.
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A
female
reader, Mature Lady +, writes (25 June 2012):
Why don't ou go out in social groups of both men and women where discussion is going on between both and do join in on the conversation and I am sure you will get a boost to your confidence and discover women are not as scary as you think we are,at the moment you are sending out the wrong signals for females to be interested in attempting to make conversation with you.Good Luck
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (24 June 2012):
 Your behavior is telling women "I don't want to know you", so they are not going to approach you. To be honest, I am very frustrated with men like you (no offense) because I will be out taking a walk or something and smile at a man and say hi...and he just ignores me. We women usually don't WANT to associate with someone like you. On the other hand, if you would soften your approach a little, and look at everyone as just another human being, you might feel a little better. Take an interest in others and at least smile and say "hello". That doesn't take much effort. Talk to women just like you talk to anyone else...that's what we like. We like to be smiled at and respected. We like someone to take an interest in us...just like you enjoy having someone take an interest in you. As far as anxiety, you will always have it if you don't get out and practice meeting both men and women alike. I treat the men I meet just like I treat a member of my family, my neighbors, or anyone. We're all human and we're all a little nervous meeting someone new. You are not alone. Just be yourself and be friendly...you'll be amazed what you can accomplish just doing those two things.
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