A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Look this is slightly long on complicated but any help would be appreciated. It's not necessarily an important problem, but I just need some quick advice.There's this teacher (and no I don't love her) but I've always had this soft spot. She's been fantastic and I think she's a brilliant teacher. Very over professional, and I can never have a personal conversation with her. As a person, I think she's really nice inside.However, recently we've been coming to blows. She wants me to seek help and thinks the only reason I've said to another teacher all the pain I've went through it for attention seeking. Which isn't true, crying yourself to sleep and considering going further isn't attention seeking and I think it's sick if someone does that.But I keep going against her. We have these little chats and I really just want her to almost accept me. I'm leaving soon and I don't know how to make things a little bit better with her. I know I've made some bad decisions but I want to get through my difficult times on my own. I don't need professional help. Sure I'm never going to see her again, but I just wish she'd care just that little bit.I don't know what to say or do to make things a bit better. Everyone hates her, and I think she knows it and to be honest I don't think she cares. I just want her to...look at me with some pride, to actually think I've done the right thing for me and not think I'm a weak, stupid attention seeking teenager which is practically what she thinks. I'd wish she and the teacher I've been talking to would stop lying to me about their stories too...So what do I do?! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): Well if talking to her will cause more problems, then stay away and get on with your work. Your not screwed up, you had problems and she just didn't understand. I'm glad your leaving school soon, you'll be able to make a new start somewhere else. Put all this in the past and get on with your life. Next time be very carefull in who you choose to tell your troubles to.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): POSTER OF QUESTION:
OK, thank you for your advice. I'm thinking about talking to her about it the next time in school, but I think it might be awkward partly because I don't think she has any interest in talking to me about anything - unless I accept getting help. Also talking to her makes me feel guilty and almost signalling a reason for why she thinks I'm an attention seeker - maybe she thinks it's because I don't stop harrassing her or something - which can I point out I don't and I hardly talk to her.
She doesn't even teach me...
That general confusion just about sums up how confused and screwed up I am =)
I also don't want to seem obsessed, she obviously thinks I'm attention seeking for a reason. Thing is I'm leaving school soon and don't want to leave it on a bad note...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): Well, they don't seem to understand you and they can't help you with your problems so stop turning to them. You can talk to us instead, we'll understand and try to help.
Right what can you do now. Well you present as coming from the USA aged 16-17. You are a young adult and will soon be leaving school to start your adult life. Personally in this situation I would ask for a quiet word with the teacher and appologise for my previous behaviour and leave it at that. She wants to help, she does care, she just wants you to do well at school, she thinks you've got your attention on the wrong things.
It's easy to make teachers proud of you. They like students that study hard, listen and pass exams. Keep your personal life private, it's obvious they can't help. Your job at school is to study, pass exams and get a good job. If you start attending to your studies, get good grades, make good friends and find interesting hobbies, your teacher will be very proud of you and your relationship with her will change.
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (20 June 2008):
 No offense, but you would not be weak if you decided to seek professional help. Teachers aren't qualified to help you, in the way you may need.
It would be a better idea to talk to someone other then your teachers, if they are discussing it with each other and you feel they are lying with their stories. Social workers aren't allowed to talk to others about what you tell them; take it from someone who knows. They're good to talk about your feelings with and they help you work out your issues.
So your teacher may be right.
However, if you really don't want to, I suggest you talk to someone else who's not going to JUDGE YOU or make you feel as if you're a "weak, stupid attention seeking teenager".
Hope this helps!
xo
Scrazy
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A
female
reader, scrazy +, writes (20 June 2008):
No offense, but you would not be weak if you decided to seek professional help. Teachers aren't qualified to help you, in the way you may need.
It would be a better idea to talk to someone other then your teachers, if they are discussing it with each other and you feel they are lying with their stories. Social workers aren't allowed to talk to others about what you tell them; take it from someone who knows. They're good to talk about your feelings with and they help you work out your issues.
So your teacher may be right.
However, if you really don't want to, I suggest you talk to someone else who's not going to JUDGE YOU or make you feel as if you're a "weak, stupid attention seeking teenager".
Hope this helps!
xo
Scrazy
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