A
female
 ,
*larey
writes:I am very happy. I got reunited with my first love after many years and he moved thousands of miles to come back. He was married 24 years so it was very sad that it ended, which it was in the process of doing long before we met again. He had become suicidally fat, was drinking too much and had no self esteem. His wife with-held affection from him for many years, there had been no cuddles and little intimacy. This happened soon after the children, now aged 19 and 20 years. I understand that these things do happen and when he first told me about it I suggested that they should try counselling. He stayed because he loves his daughters very much. By the time I saw him again he was barely recognisable, apologetic all the time, avoiding my eyes and so very overweight. Still, the same foundations were there between us. One of his kids had started turning against him before we met and their relationship has inevitably deteriortaed now further. The other is loving, forgiving and will come to see her Dad in a couple of months, possibly to finish her university course. Anyway, he has lost 50lbs and is getting fit. He has a new job and my son and I love him. I did worry about how his daughters would feel about being left behind and I am worried that his wife may feel that he does not deserve them and so make things hard for him.Initially my parents would not allow him in the house because he had left his family behind. Now they are fine and more understanding. Unfortunately it is his parents who are now making him feel wrong, selfish and worthless. His brothers and sisters have all had turbulent love lives and he was held up as the one with a good marriage. I am concerned that all of this may cause him to break down. He says I rescued him from the scrap heap. I think he needs building up, not to be given more criticism and challenges. I don't know what to do to help him because I am so worried that he may lose everything and he does not deserve it, he is fantastic.
View related questions:
overweight, self esteem, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (17 March 2006):
 It sounds like your partner is coming out of an abusive family right into an abusive marriage. He needs a safe place to be right now where he can get the help to rebuild and become a strong person.
It is hard to find help for abused men but http://domesticabusehelpline.org focuses on abused men and has a Toll Free Nationwide Helpline: 1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754). Call to see what resources are available in your area. The sooner he gets help the better.
|
