A
female
age
41-50,
*ahlan
writes:i have been with my partner for 7 years now.i love him so much and i still really find him attractive.he claims he hasnt went off me but the last time we made love was many months ago.we do get on apart from the odd tiff.i have stopped trying to seduce him as the knockbacks tho gentle hurt too much.sex is an important part of a relationship for me.before we stopped sex altogether it was predictable.has anyone any tips on how i can get him interested again and spice things up. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Hi,
Assuming that there is nothing wrong physically with him. I think it is worth one more try. You said sex was getting stale, save for the usual suggestions to spice things up - i.e. lingerie,toys etc.. How about dressing sexily when you are around him or when you go out together. We are very visual creatures us men, maybe if you go out with him wearing something which displays your assets and may even turn the odd head your way, this might just spur him into action. I say this as when my partner puts on a particular dress it drives me crazy.
Failing that, a big heart to heart is needed, you need to know from him if he has just gone off the idea of sex or if its something else. Good luck.
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (28 January 2008):
 I think you should look back and see if you can identify any particular cause. Has something happened since you last made love? Several months is a long time. You can try asking him, but from previous people posting similar questions, it doesn't seem to help. Pressure at work has one of the biggest impacts on sex drive, but it can also be financial worries or other concerns.
How to get him interested. If the drive is not there, then it's not there. There might be a medical reason. I think is past the remedy of "spicing things up" (I hate that phrase).
I think you've given it a reasonable amount of time. You should ask him straight what's up. If you don't get an answer you can deal with, you should suggest or insist he goes for help. His first choice is his GP. Be fairly firm on this. Be serious, and tell him sex is important to you, and you are missing it. He might need a little kick to get in moving on this. Good luck
Richard
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