A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Girls! I need help! I find it difficult to have a relationship - be it a one night stand or long term. I'm 22 and I've only had one one-night stand (ok some people are still virgins but I believe I am an outgoing guy that deserves more) ; and have been in two serious relationships. I do believe that I feel left out. I'm not fat, not ugly, not stupid, or have any other trait that girls may be unattracted to.Here's the thing, I am very confident in getting a date, I am charming etc however its getting that second date which puts me at my knees.Obviously I have thought about this for a v v very long time and I have come to the conclusion that its something that I'm doing wrong. I have realised I don't talk about sensative topics such as sex past boyfriends.Maybe I'm not doing anything wrong however what can I do to make sure I get a second date? or even become into a commited relationship? Or how about a one night stand although that is something probably too far fetched for my stage! other guys always boast about meeting up with links and getting to business... are they liers? plz help ppl. sorry for long one but I admit I'm desperate!
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Girls love a guy with confidence but sometimes a lil too much confidence and u can come off as being cocky or for a better lack of words "thinking your all that". As women we dont want u to be weak, but not overshine us in confidence. Or maybe its lack of conversation? We dont want to talk about past boyfriends, or sex at the moment..unless its a one nighter deal...we like to talk about sports, our hobbies, aspirations in life, Keep the convo balanced she wants to know about u but not too much of where ur drowning on and on about urself. Now when it come to u asking them out on a second date, what do they say? Do they give a reason?
I once had a first date then he asked me out on a second date the very next day to six flags..Be spontaneous for that second date bc for me thats the deal breaker. Good Luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): Being outgoing and charismatic are not guarantees to get a date or to hook up with a woman. Men who have successful long-term relationships aren't necessarily either of those things, rather, they aren't desperately seeking any female attention.
When you go on dates, how do you behave? Do you have manners? Can you carry on a conversation? Do you make advances on a first date? Where do you take your dates? Could you describe a date for us here, so maybe we could give better feedback?
As for the men you know who say they don't have a problem finding someone with whom to have a one-night stand, they're probably not lying. It's pretty simple to find a woman willing to have sex: they're usually drunk, insecure or desperate. That said, it's not exactly an honorable thing for a man to take advantage of a drunk or emotionally insecure woman. I hope you have better intentions than that.
At 22-25, I'd say having had two serious relationships is just fine. It's certainly normal in my book.
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