A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I told my husband I wanted a divorce, as I was getting fed up of his constant gambling, smoking, drinking and cheating - and the fact he wouldn't work things out with me.He said he wants me and his other woman, and refuses to sign the divorce papers - how can I get divorced now?We're living separate lives now, despite being in the same house.He's also began smoking pot too, which has got me worrying for his health as well.I've told him this is the final straw and I am divorcing him, but he says "No, no, calm down, you're just hyped-up!"Hyped-up? I'm angry not hyped-up.How can I deal with this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (18 April 2009):
 Why does he feel he can have you and the other women? And he demands this from you? I can't even begin to view from his side in how he feels this behavior is okay in a marriage.
Talk to a solicitor. Find out if they have "show for cause" divorce there. If so, you may be able to force the divorce although he's not interested in doing so. With these behaviors, if I were the judge, I'd hand deliver the final order to him personally. You might even find a solicitor to take your case for free.
Marriage is difficult, keeping the flame, respecting the other person's opinion, without compromising personal values, etc. What makes marriage impossible is where one person gives up, and decides not to work on the issues. You can't be the thread trying to hold everything together. It's not fair to you, and virtually impossible to accomplish.
Take care.
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