A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi! I am a senior in college, and I love my parents, but I cant stand to go home myself. The house is extremely dirty. They say the excuse of working 7 days a week, but I cant stand it. I dated my last boyfriend for 7 years, and he never cared. But now I am dating someone new, and cant fathem the thought of bringing him there. I really like this guy. I am the complete opposite. I am clean, organized, and even a little anal about messes. he is the same way. I have been dating him for 3 months, and he only met my parents at christmas at my aunts. He likes them, but I am honestly not looking forward to bringing him home. I am embarrassed. I even hate going there. UGH. what to do...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Wait, do you still live with your parents in this dirty house? If so, then you're contributing to the mess too, you're an adult still living in their house and they're extremely busy so why not clean the house for them? I'm a little anal about mess too and find it so satisfying to get things nice and clean - do you?
If you don't still live with them but just want to take your boyfriend over to their house, then just explain to him what to expect beforehand, go visit your parents, then you can probably bond with him afterwards over how difficult it was for you to grow up in that mess - since he's anal too, he'll understand.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Is it possible you could go home and tidy up the rooms you know you'll be using, and close the doors to the rest? Perhaps, recruit a friend, sibling, relative to help you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): I have the same problem with everyone I have ever dated. Its so embarrassing. However, if this new guy really likes you then he may not want to stay the night at your parents or sit down somewhere but he will go with you regardless.My current boyfriend of 4 years cant stand my parents messy house but even from week one (when I lived there) he would go over there and hang out with me. Now we both go over once ever other week or so and I usually end up cleaning up while visiting with the family and he spends a lot of time in the yard with my brothers and sister.The important part is that you dont live like that. So just explain to him that even though your parents are messy, you arent and thats what is important. And you can always say that if he goes once and decides not to come back, then ok. If he is worth your time and affection he will go because he cares about you and as long as you stay mess-free then there shouldnt be a problem, and as long as he likes your parents.Honesty and communication!Good luck!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Tell him what to expect and what you're feeling about it. You can't control your parents. He will understand that. You've shown that you're not like that, so he shouldn't hold this against you, at least he shouldn't if he's a good guy.
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