A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been having a lot of trouble in dealing with my fiance's past. He is 28, and I am 20 and he was the first man that I had ever been with sexually. However, he has had sex with almost 40 other women in his past, including 9 one night stands. I do realize that at the age of 28 that he is at, that this ultimately isn't a very unrealistic number, it's just very hard for me to accept knowing that I gave him my virginity, yet I am only one of a numerous amount of girls that he has been with. In addition to that, I have seen some of the other girls that he has been with, and they are honestly nothing to brag about, which almost makes him seem desperate to me. I also had to deal with him giving me a curable std, but ever since learning that it has been a thousand times harder for me to deal with his past.He has said that he has told girls that he loves them before, but now that he knows me and what we have together, he knows it really wasn't love at all, and he tells me that he considers me his true love. I wholeheartedly believe him, but it still hurts inside that he has said those words to other women as well. This bothers me so much sometimes that I even consider breaking up with him, but at the same time I honestly don't know what I would do without him. I love him immensely, and he loves me, sometimes just accepting his past is so hard for me that it physically makes me sick inside. I do realize that the past is the past, and I want to get through this and have his past quit burdening me. How do I get through this? I love him and don't want to end this, and I know he cares about me and only me, but I just want my doubts and insecurities to lighten up here. Could I get some advice? Thanks :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010):
Actions speak louder than words, honey.
I'm going to sound very rude but I can't help it. I have seen girls like you too much.
You say you don't like & respect slutty behavior while you're fucking a slut. You're part of the problem, not the solution. You are one more piece of encouragement for this guy's slutty choices, because you didn't make it cost him a girl who says she doesn't like it. You invested your body & mind into him just the same, no harm no foul.
And you are one more piece of discouragement to any other guy you know who is not acting like the male slut you're engaged to. What do you have to say to those other guys? The ones who have been delaying their gratification and would want to have shared themselves with a girl like the one you claim to be?
A
male
reader, mr motivator  +, writes (21 April 2010):
He's playing you love, no one sleeps with that many at the age of 28 and keeps it in their pants during a long term relationship.
The past is the past i agree but the past is also a good indicator of the future
Move on to a better sort of guy with better morals
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (20 April 2010):
 His past has nothing to do with you and you can't live like that and there is absolutely nothing he can do about it. If he slept with one million people before he got with you that is his past and you have no right to argue about it. You have to mature first before you try to have a serious relationship. Now you too have a past since you had sex and if you break up with your current boyfriend I wonder? If you get with someone who is insecure and keeps on throwing your past over and over and over again how would you feel. Well lesson to be learned I guess. About the STD is both your responsibility to be careful and protect your body. You might have been a virgin, but virgins too get pregnant, get, HIV you need to worry about you and always think about you. Be safe!
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