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How can he be too tired for sex?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend have got into the habit of having intercourse everytime we see each other but recently he's been saying "I'm too tired" and things like that.

He's making me feel like im unattractive and he doesn't want me, which is silly I know, but I cant help but feel that way. And because it upsets me, I get defensive and say 'Why dont you want me?' which I understand might make things worse.

In my mind, I've never been too tired to have sex and nor has he. So why all of a sudden? We've been together for 16 months. What should I do to make this better and try not to feel rejected when this happens?

He also said 'Why cant we just cuddle? Is sex all you want me for?' which is completley untrue. I LOVE cuddling with him, and we always do, whether intercourse happens or not. What can I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011):

Thanks for your answers, sorry I forgot to mention how often we see each other!

Well, it's whenever we're both free. It's usually an evening then the next morning, every 2 days? It varies though

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (12 March 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntHow many times a week do you see each other?

If you see him a couple times a week then you should be glad that he doesn't always just want sex everytime you too are together.

But if you only see him on the weekend and the whole weekend passes without him wanting to have sex at all. Then maybe things are getting old to him.

Is he under extra stress or pressure from school or work right now, or is anything else going on with him that could bothering him and interferring with his sex drive?

It is normal for the sex to drop off a little when you have settled into a long term relationship. But it shouldn't die completely. How long will he go without wanting to make love if you don't ask for it first these days? Because it is probably not a problem unless he lets 2 weeks or more go by at a time without wanting to do anything.

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A male reader, Capri2 Argentina +, writes (12 March 2011):

You didn't mention how often you meet. But maybe you were doing it to too often. And every person has its own timing for sex.

In the first place don't make him feel like you want him for sex only. And talk to him about what kind of things he would like to do with you.

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