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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have always been a very out going confident person. I was popular in my first high school and was in the popular group of girls and we had a really chilled out friendship group it was really nice.Then in my last year of high school my family moved us across the country so I had to start a new school.I never really fitted in, I was always in the "alternative crowd" at my old school, with the rock bands and wearing converse etc and when I moved to this second school it was alot smaller so there was practically one group of friends and they were all really preppy. I hated that school, but managed the year and came out with some friends as well.Anyway after leaving school I went straight into work, im very popular at work and i love it. Last night we went out with work people and we were in a packed bar, when a guy who works upstairs, his son who i went to school with came into the bar. I didnt get on with his son, in fact i hardly spoke to him and ive never said anything against him. Then the dad who i work with (who was very drunk) came up to me pointed at me whilst shouting at his son "look its whale!!" I was like wtf?? Turns out that that was my nickname at that high school which really upset me. Im an outgoing person who has never had a problem with the way i look, yeah im curvy and i have boobs just cos all the sporty girls at that school were sticks. Ive never done anything to him. I didnt need the shit i got at school and i sure as hell dont need it at work.My friends at work were just stood there shocked. they didnt laugh or anything and one of my guy mates from work was like getting really angry at the man upstairs sayin it was totally out of order. I just laughed it off then when no one was looking i just left and went home.I feel completely shit. I didnt need that shit at school and i dont need it now.Its the fact that i've never done anything to that group of guys at school and it turns out that was the nick name for me.Im feeling down enough as it is because ive broken up with my bf, half my mates have left to go to uni, my best friend at work is leaving me as well, so i just feel completely shit at the moment.my question iswhy did they say that to me?what did i do to deserve it?what shall i do about the fact that everything in my life feels so shit at the moment?please help. last night i just left the bar and walked home tears like running down my face. please help
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reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (13 July 2008):
 Sorry if this is too long but I would like you to read it all."Why did they say that to me?"-They said that to you because they're souless assholes who have no mind of their own. Those kind of people try to look for "perfection" in everything because they can't find it in themselves. When they see something that they don't consider "perfect", they feel intimidated at it so they recur on trying to make the person feel down just so they don't feel uncomfortable themselves. Heck, some people do this to pretty girls too! The thing also here is that you look so confident even though you don't fit their description of "perfect" that it just bothers them even more and feel that you souldn't deserve your confidence and thus try to put your self-esteem down. They're people who try to express their own frustration of their self-image on people who they think are a representation of themselves and by making fun of that person they think they have solved the problem. To make this short, they're insecure assholes who try to always feel better by making others feel down."What did I do to deserve it?"What you did to deserve it is nothing. You are born as the person you are and nothing can change that and in fact, this incident shouldn't change anything either. You know you're a great person, your friends know you're a great person, your co-workers know you're a great person, so why some stranger would change a fact from you? What the hell is his opinion so much important than the other people I listed? I know it hurts, I've had a similart situation before...actually many people have, but the thing that most people do is to make that person's opinion a top priority and put everyone else's second. That person right there who insulted you doesn't even know you and insulted you like that. Now, let put things in retros-pective. You were out with your friends having a good time and knowing (and reflecting) a great relationship with them, and what was this guy doing? Hanging out alone...terribly drunk. Well, a big assumption here is that he's jealous of you, the person he thinks is "imperfect" and shouldn't deserve a thing. So he tried a very lame way to express his frustration for his failure, by calling you names. Now, don't you think how sad this person is? "What shall I do about the fact that everything in my life feels so shit at the moment?"-Now now, you're putting everything here in a negative aspect. The only thing here is bad timing as for everything has happened in a short period of time. What you should do is try to see the positive ways of the outcomes that have happened. And I'm sorry if I sound rude to you here but I'm giving here a try.About your boyfriend breaking up with you. Yes, it hurts ending a relationship and probably from someone you thought you loved. But really there must have been something that made you or him break up. Whatever the reason was, it must have happened because something else WILL happen to you. Probably he wasn't "The One" and just an experience you should learn to find the one, and I'm sure that you will find that lad that will make your world shine.About your friends going to uni, well you should concentrate on being happy for them! I know it hurts being separated from them and not seeing them as often, but that doesn't mean you'll stop being friends. If the will be away for long periods of time, try to find days where you can hang out. Cherish the moments with them. This should go the same way with your best friend.Now, knowing about the real thing about the guy who said the mean thing to you, do you really feel it worth to cry over someting a sad thing like him said? I know it must have hurt when he said it but really concentrate that this guy is an idiot and nothing else. Also, even when you feel your life is crappy, you could always think there are others who have it crappier! It may sound as a bad thought, but it kinda works on me.Hope you feel better!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): hi
first the guy was a total plonker and one day he will get his lights punched out saying remarks like that to a young lady or anyone in fact. the world i am afraid is filled with tossers like this, they don't have anything good to say about anyone or anything one of life's losers. i once remember a guy in a club making signs about my small boobs but not in a nice way to his group of friends. i did not know any of them so i thought i would reflect his behaivour a little later on. i remarked on the size of his dick very small in front of his freinds. you should have seen the change in him when i pretended that i had slept with him and said loudly to a grup of giggling women that he had a small one.
it shut him up and did the trick, his mates were in stiches all the girls were too. he saw what he had brought to him through his own actions, however this is not always the answer but boy did i feel better. now your old friends nickname for you, probably developed through jealousy or a boy who wanted you but could'nt have you. you got bigish boobs well look on the bright side my story proves, in this life you can not please anyone, big, small, fat, thin. but we can please ourselves, by how we react to some plonkers words that mean nothing because they are empty words said by empty people. Please you! and enjoy your unique qualities and life never look for approval, never expect approval, you obviously did not at school with your dress style. You will come face to face with many negative people in life who will try and put others down to build them up and sadly some people end up shrinking to make others bigger, do not fall for it ,stay positive and stay around like minded friends but always remain true to yourself, if people don't like you, tough! stay strong and do not get defeated by plonkers who probably secretly wish they were like you or could have you. there are also many many genuine people out their when their words make you laugh and feel good you will know who they are so don't loose trust it's a wonderful quality and so is a curvy figure show it off in your unusual dress sense, burlesque probably suit you at a wild guess, be different never try and fit in a box you don;t belong ,stay free,stay happy,stay strong,and stay curvy.
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