A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This question is for MARRIED MEN!!! But men in general can answer it.PLEASE ANSWER TRUTHFULLY!!!!!!!If a beautiful and hot woman was showing interest in you and was everything you were looking for in a woman and more, ie. you have everything in common, a strong emotional connection and an intense physical attraction towards each other, would you have an affair with her if she told you that she was attracted to you and/or pursued you? Could you resist someone like that? Or, would you not even allow yourself to get close to her, ignore her, walk away or tell her, "Sorry I am married." Be honest, please!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): I'm a married man.No matter how gorgeous the woman, how good the connection, if your marriage is being actively nurtured by both husband and wife, there's really little attraction to destroying that for a little sex. Like Paul Newman used to say, "why go out for hamburger when I can stay home and have steak?"
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): First off, I'm married, and have been for a long time. But, I married the woman you describe... "was everything you were looking for in a woman and more, ie. you have everything in common, a strong emotional connection and an intense physical attraction towards each other"However, over the course of a marriage, particularly with those of us who work in places where women dominate the workforce (80% female), and are largely younger and frequently single, distinct opportunities can arise. Those opportunities are meaningless if you are happy at home, satisfied with your life, and have a good self esteem. So, the answer you are looking for will vary depending upon the person that you are talking to, and their peculiar life circumstances at the time that they have that opportunity.Mix in a little depression, alcohol or drug use, a bad business climate, major illness, or spousal problems with any of the aforementioned, job loss, etc, and you may get a very different answer from someone.What I've done, if someone seemed to be announcing their availability in some either overt or subtle manner, is start talking about my wife and kids....amazing how those conversations can shift to more innocuous territory.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 April 2011):
 ugh no good can come of it. people will be hurt by the lies.so in that case... have her go to her husband and ask permission to boink you while you get permission from you wife to boink her right back.there... no lies... problem solved.oh wait.. your wife does not want you to have an affair?hmmm...
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 If you allow yourself to get into that situation, you're already cheating or neglecting your marriage. In other words, if you spend that much time getting to the point where you have all those feelings, you've been cheating already. That situation doesn't just "happen". Physical attraction can. You can see someone or meet them and feel a connection but if you allow it to blossom, it's a choice. Let's face it, relationships(marriage) is an agreement not to pursue the attractions that evolve after you get married. It should come as no surprise that attractions arise after marriage. The shock occurs when your partner acts on them. Marriage is a commitment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): It depends.
My better nature would have me stay away, and it has to date.
At the same time, every marriage has its ups and downs. If she caught me during a particularly 'down' time, I could see myself giving in.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 The way I see it, a strong emotional connection isn't always good enough, there are so many other things that may sever that connection and nobody knows whether or not over time that connection would fade anyway. If I were married, which I am not, I would have had to have had an immense emotional connection toward my wife in the first place and that surpasses physical attraction by a lot.
If there was something there though, something stronger than what I would have in my marriage, I don't think I would be tempted to have an affair as opposed to just being completely honest to both my wife that I am presumably starting to feel less for her and more for this other woman. An affair is completely out of the question, if it wasn't, how would any relationship work if trust wasn't established beforehand?
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): Hi Anon. She knows I'm married. She is married, too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): I am married and my soon to be ex-wife beat the shit out of me because I chose not to defend myself. I do not ever hit women for any reason which may very well make me a sucker or whatever, but anyways back to the point. I am currently involved with a woman that almost exactly matches the description that you gave and I want to be with her for the rest of my life (as far as I know for now). I still live with my soon to be ex-wife(stbew) I don't however sleep with her any longer and I am working on getting all the paperwork and what not together to finish whatever it is that we had. In this situation I think that it is ok because I am and will always be a one woman man, and just because it looks however it looks to anyone doesn't matter I feel the way that I do and the rest of it is just paperwork.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): you gotta be honest to her. Does she know you're married?
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