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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi,I have been with my partner for 26 months and have been living together for 9 months we are both 36 and have 4 children between us who live we us. We seemed to have a healthy sexual relationship at the beginning but as time has gone on his labido has disappeared. Im lucky if i get sex twice a month. Im not overly obsessive with sex but that is not enough for me. He even got me a vibrator and told me to use that when he was at work but i want the intimacey and feeling of being wanted when i have sex not just a cheap thrill. I can even parade around him with no clothes on (when the kids are in bed)and he doesnt even blink an eye lid. I kno he loves me as he's always telling me but i just dont feel it. I feel unattractive, unloved, unwanted and that i just dont turn him on. I get very upset by this as i do love him and i just want him to make me feel wanted, attractive and special to him like your supposed to when someone tells you that they love you not hurt and resentful like i do. Even when i make the effort to look nice he doesnt seem to notice.What should i do, please help me with this problem.
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at work, cheap, sex drive, unloved, vibrator Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
Thanks for your advise. I think you are probably right and I need some counselling if this relationship is to continue. Thanks
x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): It sounds to me as if you are suffering from depression.
I would suggest seeing a counsellor whilst your still in this realtionship, it may help you to feel more confident about yourself which might help you realise that you are a sexy attractive lady!!. I know that you feel as though you are at rock bottom at the moment, which is why I would suggest seeing someone for the depression. It is only once you have sorted your depression out that you will be in a fit state to truly judge if you want to stay in this relationship or not.
I'm sure that once you have got the help you need things will start to get a whole lot better for you, whatever the outcome.
Im always here to talk.
XX
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
Thanks for your answer. The trouble is i have told him how it makes me feel more than once and he does say hes really sorry he doesnt mean to make me feel like that, but he still does nothing about it. Then when we go out (not just night time but even to do the shopping) i will catch him 'eyeing' up the 18 year old, stick thin blonde girls which im brunette not over weight but after having 3 kids i have the stretch marks and 'jelly belly' as i call it to match, which adds to the rejection i feel at the moment(i have also told him about that too).
I do know he loves me in his own little way even though by what ive just wrote makes it sound like he doesnt, i just wish he would stop making me feel so unwanted and rejected.
I have tried slinky underwear and it still has no affect. Just the same words 'it's not you it's me!!' but these words do not help the rejection i am feeling at the moment.
Any suggestions please.
x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): I see this sort of question on here all the time, I even wrote in about it once!.
Its very common for the labido to drop after the "new relationship" feeling has worn off, I can understand why you are upset though. To women sex is more about feeling attractive and loved by their spouse or partner. Its an intimacy thing for us ladies.
Try not to get too upset about this though, it sounds as if your partner really does love you but sometimes Men are'nt able to see that we are upset by certain things.
Have you told him how this makes you feel?, that he is making you feel like your not loved by him. Tell him every little detail of how this rejection makes you feel.
Because from what you have said, Im sure he doesnt mean to hurt you this way.
I have been through this myself and I did exactly that, I told my Husband how it felt when he "rejected" me. In reality he was'nt rejecting me I can see that now.
Men are strange creatures most of them dont get sutble hints!!.
I would suggest that after you spoken to him and got it all out in the open try wearing something slinky and suggestive to bed and refrain from walking about naked, this will make the eye crave what it cant see! trust me he is so used to seeing you without clothes on that after a short time he will want to see you naked again!.
Ok Good luck with this. and dont dispear your relationship is not falling apart. We all need a sharp kick up the ass from time to time!.
All the best
XX
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