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female
,
anonymous
writes: I love this guy at school, I don't know if he likes me, but i really want him to! His grandparents live next door to me, so I see him alot. I really want him to ask me out,and now I have been thinking of asking him, but I don't know if he will say yes. He is also kinda popular, but not that much. he has alot of friends, and girls he could go out with instead of me. I am not that popular and my heart will be broken forever if he says no!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): I accidentally posted this answer on another similar question but this was actually meant for you. So here it is: You have a huge crush, dear and you and you're experiencing feelings that are normal for your age. Firstly, understand some of the reasons you might be wanting to ask this guy out. If he's 'kinda' popular, is it really 'him' or that popularity image he projects, that you really want? Are your other gf's paired up and is this just a peer-pressure thing? If so, these are not valid reasons to consider dating this guy because then your feelings for him are not genuine. It's just not an honorable way to base a relationship on because your feelings are 'only' based on what 'you' want and this is unfair. It really sounds like you may not know him. The best you can do at this moment, is become his friend. Whatever you decide to do, I want to strongly remind you not to mistake an attraction or crush with love. Love requires two people, give to each other and cherishing each other. Real love takes a long time to build and becoming friends first, is the best way. Friendship is always the most sensible place to start. Make efforts to get to know him, for the person he is. Always respect his feelings. Take your time..sit down and really 'talk to him' when the opportunity presents itself. Maybe as your friendship progresses he will come to see your many wonderful sides. Who knows..his feelings may even deepen into a romantic interest, over time. But always remember, you can't never make a person like you. There is nothing that will make him, feel for you the way you feel for him. In time, you will know where this will go. Good luck, dear, have fun and Take care
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 You will never know unless you take a chnace and ask him, if he says yes you will have gained something that you could only admire form afar. But if he says no at least you will know were you stand and can work on getting over your crush on him.
By the way don't put yourself down all the time. He is only a guy!!
xx
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (5 March 2006):
 Dearie, my own advise is that if u truly like him perhaps its best to give it a shot and ask him out. it will be better to find out how he feels even if he says no than to always wonder what could have been.
Also, as much as people dont want to ever believe it getting hurt and hurting others is part of dating.what u need to realise is that it is possible to get over being hurt and learn from the experience.if the issue is that you are that scared of getting hurt and never recovering if rejected then perhaps you u arent matured enough for a serious relationship and dating in general.maybe u still need sometime to get to know guys on a casual level.
Take care and i wish u all the best.
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