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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been dating a man for 9 months. Recently he told me that he isn't sure if he is in love with me. Now I find out he is dating another woman but he says they are just "friends". I am heartbroken and want to know if I should try to save this relationship. Please help. Lonely on Valentines Day.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2006): I've just come through a very similar situation. He left me after a while. I was absolutely distraught, but I've found that friends and time are the most wonderful things ever. Of course I felt awful at first, and sat about thinking that I obviously must be boring and unattractive or he would still want to be with me. But after a week or so I realised that that was a mistake. I actually feel better about myself now than I ever did while we were together. It was so draining to be in a relationship like that, and now I can be my old confident self again. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, and didn't want to break up, but now I can see that the relationship was harmful to me, and that someone so weak and fickle never deserved me.
I don't know if you want to hear this, but my advice is to leave him and let him regret forever what he lost, while you learn to love yourself again. Be dignified and never give him the satisfaction of showing him that you miss him or are angry at him, and, gradually, I promise you'll get through it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2006): In your heart of hearts - is this relationship truly worth saving? Do you really want to be with a man who doesn't know if he loves you and is dating other women?
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