A
female
age
30-35,
*ewelz0986
writes:I fell in love with a guy who doesnt love me back.I spend the night at his house and we have sex cuddle and hang out and have fun but a couple weeks later he has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend and were all good. Until I see him and I suddenly fall in love with him again he's like my own personal drug and I'm completly addicted. I get so many mixed messages that I just want t call it quits but I know I cant because I love him.
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fell in love, has a girlfriend, mixed messages Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 This situation you are in will continue, maybe indefinitely, or until something bigger happens in either one of your lives.
Women who love someone who doesn't love them suffer from very low self esteem and their thinking can be abstact. You may continue to see him in the hope that he changes his mind and falls in love with you. Sadly this isn't likely to happen. He is already getting what he wants from you, without the need to involve love or attachment. His respect for you as a person is probably lower than he would regard, say, a girlfriend or lover and he is probably just enjoying having you to use.
You need to find a way to cut things off. I would do it suddenly and without warning. Do not give him the chance to come back at you. It's unlikely he will ever be in love with you as most men, when they meet a woman they wish to have a loving relationship with, enjoy the chase. They like the challenge of winning a woman for a girlfriend. If you put yourself in front of him to be used for sex, then he will not see you as a potential girlfriend and will just use you for sex.
Sex for the majority of women is an emotional issue that they interpret as love.
Sex for men is a basic need which fulfils them temporarily but they do not connect it to love unless they are absolutely head over heels for a woman.
Forget him, like any addiction, you have to just cut it out of your life, learn from it and move on to better things.
Do not allow yourself to be used, your too special for that.
Good luck
Aunty Em xxx
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