A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I work with this guy that is married and has 3 small children. His wife doesn't work because she takes care of the 2 youngest children while he works. He says he is not happy with her. We have been friends for 3 years and have been fighting our attraction for one another. Last week he told me that he has been thinking about me a lot. He says that he wants to have a sexual relationship with me but I don't know what to do!!! I am VERY attracted to him also!! Please help!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): You say "I have decided that we just need to keep things the way they are." Does it mean that you will continue to be sexually attracted to each other in the meanwhile, without acting on these feelings. Just be careful - by continuing in the same manner that you have in the past 3 years, your "friendship/ attraction" will develop into something that you may not want to control.
You also say "If he does divorce her, then we will just have take things from there." How long do you continue to wait for this to happen. What if it never happens. You would have thrown away the best years of your life, just hoping. Is this fair to you? Regards
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your replies!!! I have decided that we just need to keep things the way they are. If he does divorce her, then we will just have take things from there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): I understand the strong sexual attraction. And your probably telling yourself "maybe just one time?"But don't, you WILL end up feeling used. There probably is something missing in his marriage, but it can't be that bad he's still with her. And no, sleeping with him won't win him over!
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 There is a rather easy lithmus test that you can apply to yourself, to come up with an answer to your question: "if the situation is reversed, i.e. you are the wife with 3 small children, and your husband has an affair with another woman, what thoughts go around in your mind?"
Think about it.
Cat
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Forget about it!!!!! He is married! Whether he says he is unhappy in his marriage or not, you don't really know what his personal life is like! Sometimes men exagerate their marital problems to get into extramarital affairs. In the years you have known him, has he ever attempted to separate from his wife. Don't believe everything he tells you!
If you should decide to go forward with this affair...prepare yourself for sleepless nights and lonely days! You will be getting leftover crumbs and he will be having his cake and eating it too!
There are attractions that we should never act on! Don't cross the line, you will regret it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): no dont go there if he wants a sexual relationship you have to let him know that hes got to finish with his wife first otherwise you are just going to get stringed along and used. hell then just keep stringing you along and you decerve better than that
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 NO NO NO!!!! Whatever you do, dont sleep with this man! He will just use you for his own pleasure. If he is not happy with his wife then he must sort out his life, divorce her or go to counselling. By having an affair will only make matters worse. Tell him that once he has legally divorced his wife then you will be willing to have a sexual relationship with him - I am sure he will lose interest in you and start chasing after some other woman! I do understand that there is an attraction, but nothing good will come of an affair with this man.
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