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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi,I have been living with my partner of two years for 3 months now. He has asked me to sign a relationship agreement effectively contracting out of NZ's defacto law. First I was hurt and angry, then I thought he should keep all that he has worked for. However he wishes it to apply to all future earnings also, regardless of years spent together and despite the fact he wants children. I earn a 6th of what he does, and now have to make equal contributions to our household.I always believed I would share everything with my life partner. Am I just old fashioned?
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male
reader, iamsoscrewedup333 +, writes (21 April 2006):
he wants you to sign this document after living together for 3 months? I think that there is something up here if you asked me. What are the NZ laws? I know that in the states, this falls under state to state juristiction and that you have to be living together for like over a 5 year minimum to even claim somthing like this. I would say that, if you want to be fair, that yes, he should keep or have all rights to all pre-marrage earnings, but if you get married or have children, sorry but I think that you have the right to some of his take.
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (15 April 2006):
 Look long , hard and seriously at this relationship. I think he has the right to protect himself against a short term relationship going awry but this is going a bit far.
If this was my guy I would be looking at why he was doing this? And I would also be considering what his views were on equality in a relationship. Do you want to be with somebody this mercenary?
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (15 April 2006):
 NO you are no being old fashioned, he is just being mean.
Your rights change when you have kids and if I was you I would not sign any agreement that was for future earnings, that is silly, what if you stay home looking after the kids, he has an affair and you find out, your not the guilty party but he escapes financial responsibility, get real, tell him NO.
You also should not be contributing equally if you do not earn as much, be fair and reasonable but not a mug.
Partnership is just that, equality!!
You should have no call on any earnings before you got together as that would be unfair but if you marry then you should start marriage as equals.
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