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He's choosing this other girl over me..as she has more to offer. What do I do now?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2007)
A female age 36-40, *ssndrajeanne writes:

So my brother has this friend and i guess this friend has liked me for 9 years. This past chirstmas I finally told him I was attracted to him also. This friend has been dating another girl for about 5 weeks, but still choose to go on a date with me. We really hit it off and had a good time we have alot in common. This guy doesnt live in the same town as me my drove up to spend new years weekend with me. Sunday while i was in the shower he left and left a note saying he had to figure things out between this other girl and me. Well i was really upset. And so he turned around and came back to me. We had a wonderful new years together and a wonderful new years day together. He left that night and called me and told me that he was picking the other girl over me. But than he talks to me on the phone and say he never meant to hurt me and he does like me but she has more to offer. So My question is what do i do. Do i lose a friend and say goodbye to him? Or does he want me and just confused about what is going on? Help Please!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007):

So your first, or second date with him was to have sex, correct?

Not a good idea. You hardly know him, or he you, but he got "benefits" very easily - too easily, didn't even have to pursue you.

He sounds inconsiderate and arrogant. Just think: he took off while you were in the shower. Didn't want to tell you he was going and risk a scene. Cowardly.

I don't think he's confused. He called and said he liked you but was choosing the other girl over you. Sounds like it was a question of no contest. I could be wrong, but I get the impression that he never did have any intention of considering you as a "candidate."

As for losing a friend, what friend? This creep, as eyeswideopen so fittingly calls him, is no friend to you!

You can do better, and you deserve better - about six times better than HIM! aaaargh!

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A female reader, hugs2muchgal United States +, writes (2 January 2007):

hugs2muchgal agony auntit's his loss.

he may be confused though, my bestfriend had had feelings for me and when i told him i returned them he and i were going to try dating and at the last minute he went to his ex, making me hurt and rejected. eventually though he came to his senses and though i kept telling him no, he kept trying and eventually i gave him another chance. we've been together ever since and i do not regret it at all. it was the best thing for me to say yes.

so go out, date other guys, and if he comes back to you, give him another chance, because guys arent always the smartest creatures when it comes to women, but they can get better.

goodluck

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A female reader, katiemarie +, writes (2 January 2007):

katiemarie agony aunthi,

you had a great few days with him and in my experiance its better to have enjoyed yourself and found out he was a complete twat early on than months down the line.

My advice would be not to fall out with him whenever you speak to him or see him dont let him think you even care what he did.(even if deep down your upset dont show it) Men love being in control of womens feelings so dont give him the satisfaction.

make him beleive your out havin fun and dont give a crap about him, make him feel like he is missing out on you and it will make him feel crap.

Keep smiling

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 January 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntWhat an arrogant a**hole. You don't need that creep in your life. Consider yourself the winner here. "More to offer"...sheesh!

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