A
female
age
36-40,
*loudysunshine
writes:Hi, i need some unbiased advice!.....basically, i was in a relationship from a young age, 15. At the age of 20, i fell out of love with my boyf, and fell totally for my best guy friend who id known for three years. I ended my relationship nt knowing what wud happen as my friend had a gf and i didnt want him to leave for me. However, he kept on telling my other friend how crazy he was about me, and had been for years. He sed he'd finished with his gf, but after a while, felt guilty and gt bk. He sed he was ashamed of what he did and didnt speak to me as much as a result. They ended up finishing last summer, and it was weird coz id suffered loads of anxiety which made me dwn throughout the year, adjusting to life without my ex, and my friend reli. then in sept, we gt close again and moved in with our other best friend whos a girl. We get along so well nw, and he and i have kissed on a number of occasions. However, i always want to take it further ie relationship, sex and he backs off, and says he scared he'll mess it up like before. I brought it up the other day and he went nuts. He sed he wasnt ready to deal with his problems yet. He got upset. Its been a few days and we're talking but nt the same. I just miss him wen hes at his best, he txt me tonite and didnt put kisses which hurt. We live together, its my bday in a couple of days, and i dnt want us going bk to last year, and i dnt want to be made to feel guity for bringing it up coz hes always blowing hot and cold, and without meaning to, upsetting me :(
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female
reader, cloudysunshine +, writes (17 April 2010):
cloudysunshine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionaw thank u, we've had space recently and it has def helped, he sed he doesnt wanna keep faffing around and think he knows he needs to control his relationship anxieties, thanx 4 the advice :) x
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (17 April 2010):
Living with this guy and being in his face all the time is a really bad idea.
He needs space to move on from what happened and miss you.
Go out and have fun with some other of your friends. Be nice to him and be his friend but just make sure he sees you a lot lot lot less.
If you're there to be sexy and give him kisses then he gets the good stuff without having to deal with his issues. You are basically rewarding him for faffing on and dithering around.
So be unavailable, be the girl he can't just have on a plate any more. Then he may realise he needs to stop being so rubbish and needs to man up about life if he wants to stop this amazing girl slipping through his fingers.
Good Luck!! xx
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