A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i'm so confused what to do in my relationship bcuz he treats me gud n evrything n i kno he ws trying to change but sumtimes he looses his controll. he is a very jealous person he duznt lik me wearing short skirts.pants or revealing tops . also he claims wen thers another guy ther that i like one of them or im watching them n it nut even true!! if i do we alwayz get into fights n wel i dont do it for any1 other than him i feel lik he jus duznt lik me lukin pretty. he also hit me befor n then he tells me he's sry n is bcuz he loves me so much. what shud i do?? i love him so much n i dont want t loose him cuz he;s a nice guy other than his possessivness!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 Read the article on this site called "Seriously debating whether to break up or not?"
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/seriously-debating-whether-to--break-up-or.html
Because that is what you should be debating.
Please don't be stupid, this guy has already hit you and is trying to control you, that is NOT real love, it is not even close to love.
Before anyone else can love us, we first need to learn how to love and honor ourselves. And we show love for ourselves by demanding to be treated with kindness and respect by the people around us, especially from our boyfriends and girlfriends.
This guy isn't good for you and you know it, or you wouldn't be here asking us what to do. So listen to the advise you receive and get away from him. You are too young and inexperienced to even attempt to change the way your bf acts or behaves towards you.
You can't fix him and you can't make him happy by doing everthing he says or by trying to be a better girlfriend. It will never be good enough for him and longer you stay with him the worse he will probably get.
If you don't believe me then read some of the questions other women have posted here, there are many questions from women twice your age who are having the same kind of problems as you are, and they don't know how to fix it any better then you do. But they loved them too and things were not so bad at first so they stayed and hoped things would get better but they never did.
It is so sad, how miserable and unhappy they are, many have children and no money so they feel hopeless and stuck like there is no way out for them. Do you want that to be you in a few years??? Because it will be you if you allow this to continue. Please break up with him now, it will only get harder the longer you stay.
And please, please trust me when I tell you that the more you try to love and please a guy that is treating you bad like this the less he will love you back. Why? because no man loves or respects a woman who doesn't even respect herself.
They will order you around and play games with your heart and head and will use you until there is nothing left to use and then they'll just throw you away. But they will never love you for it.
I may not know your BF but I am older and wiser than you and I know the type of guy he is very well. And your post has huge Red flags all over it to me. Have you tried talking about this with your mom? I think you should.
One last thing, stop wearing short-shorts and skirts and tops that show to much skin. Guys don't like it because it makes you look cheap. And to guys there are only two kinds of girls out there. The kind you just want to screw a few times and the kind you can fall in love with and/or marry one day. Your BF is right about that much. You can still look pretty without dressing like that. Nice guys prefer a classier look. Which means a better quality of men will be attracted to you.
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