A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been having a nice friendly? relationship with this single guy. He has been very warm and friendly all through.Sometimes I really doubted it he liked me romantically. But I know I was not worthy of him and never bothered. But I did imagine I had a special place because he spoke to me nicely and caringly. The way you speak to someone who means to you a lot. He gave me his number, asked me to be free with him as I chose and to text him whenever I felt like talking. And to his word he was there at my finger tips almost everyday. Of course, these are special words you don't tell any Tom Dick or Harry. But he has often disappeared and I would wait for my replies. Silly me! I text him twice to find out that he was away on vacation. It has happened a few times and now I realise I never had that place I thought I had. If I were any closer than I thought he wold have let me known he was going on vacation.Also he would tell a little about his family and personal life and wouldn't respond or disclose too much. But I thought men texted rarely as much as he did and he was only doing a favour, why trying to be nice and helpful.Sounds like he is not so caring as he pretends to be. He never asks how I am doing, other than reply to my text or call back. He has been deceiving though he may not have meant to be so. But I am really hurt. I am ashamed of my silly thoughts.Pls help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear helpersI have met him in person and we keep meeting on and off for some professional reasons. He is not a co worker of mine anyway. He does stay close to where I live and is not married. But about a having a girl friend I cannot guess. His famil doesn't stay close by. He has revealed very little about them even when I have shown interest to know more. I don't think I am seriously in to him to think of dating. I was asking you about his behaviour pattern.Yes, it was he who gave me his number and asked to contact him whenever I felt like. So ultimately with so much affected warmth and friendliness I feel that he doesn't consider me close enough. And that pulled me down a bit. Would men text so much if they did not feel any kind of bond with the girl?You are right. I need to stop this texting. It is not a sincere act and doesn't do any good.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (30 January 2011):
 Is this just an online acquaintance or have you actually met in person?
That might make a difference. Perhaps he was just trying to help you out - if you had problems you confided in him, that is (but perhaps you didn't, just chatted). How much do you know about him? He could conceivably be married or have a girlfriend. One more question: Does he live near you or at a distance?
If you know for fact that he's single, and lives relatively close, you might suggest meeting for coffee or lunch and see how he responds.
If he doesn't reply, or seems wishy-washy, I'd let him go....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): To start off, why do you say you are not worthy of him? Get some confidence - this is silly talk. Then, he seems to be asking you to contact him, then is a bit unreliable at keeping that going. This is a non starter. Don't bother to text him again. This is all one way and is doing your self-worth no good at all. I can not see any reason to text him or any other contact - it is just going nowhere and making you unhappy.
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