A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:(This below was my question 2 months ago)We have been friends for 1.5 years. He has been miserable with his marriage (he has no kids with her but she has kids from a previous relationship). He recently told me that he is falling out of love with her, he may leave her and that he is miserable. They broke up for a while last year but she guilted him back by taking anti-depression meds and talking suicide.Absolutely nothing physical as happened between us which he and I have both agreed that we want to do this the right way. Lately, he has been asking me to spend time with him a few times a week going to dinner etc. He has said things like, "I may be moving in with you soon" or "If I am going to leave my wife for you..." (This is said in a light, joking manner.I am having feelings for him. We have both discussed this and he is starting to tell me about his finanical situation, that we have things in common and enjoys spending time with me. He is being very telling and open. My only advice to him is that he needs to make a decision and that he is the only person that can do so.With out being pushy, how long should I deal with the casual time together? We are both very attracted to each other but I am having guilt about the time I spend with him because of her.CurrentFor the past few weeks he has been distant but I still would see him once a week and get a short phone call. Over the weekend, he has now left her as a mutual agreement. They are seperating and he is living in a mobile home of his own. We still have not been physical. I asked him how I could help and he relpied that he needs to sort things out for a while. I told him that I would respect him and leave him be knowing that I care about him and that he can call when he is ready.Help please....where do I go from here??
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 May 2007):
 You can sit around and wait for him to call or get busy with your own life. Go out with friends, do some volunteer work, meet new people, just stay busy. If he gets things sorted out and decides to look you up then great. But if he decides to give his marriage another try at least you haven't been sitting around wasting time. By the way I'm glad you didn't take this to the physical level before he was divorced, a very good example to others who write in here who are involved with married people. Best of luck.
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