Dear Cupid, I have recently split from being engaged after finding out she had someone else who, by the way, was 10 years older than her. We remained friends, but her then new boyfriend dumped her after sleeping with her and giving her the difference in age story. She then started sleeping with me on and off but she has a problem with my money: she can't stop spending it. She never pays me back and one day I took out a loan from the bank to buy a car and go on holiday. She spent half my loan. I had no car and she got a free holiday. She now tells me she won't pay me back a penny. What should I do???
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engaged, money, on holiday
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A reader, Juanita, writes (26 February 2005):When it comes to love, age usually does not matter, but it seems you have made it matter in your mind by thinking you are too old for this young lady therefore you must do whatever it takes to make her happy. Taking a loan is pretty much a serious commitment but you allowed her to use the commitment YOU had signed up for, for the sake of love. My advise is that you are grateful you are seeing younger and perhaps a good looking ("in your mind") younger woman so to keep things sweet, you felt you had to whatever it takes to keep the relationship going without making sure whether she really loves you, because if she did you will not have written to us but you would have felt her love which in turn would have made you feel secured in the relationship. To put your mind at rest, have good talk top her allowing to explain what she wants in life in terms of relationship, and you can conclude after that. Good luck and feel confident within yourself if you can. If you can't date women around your age or even older to feel in control of your emotions.
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