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Help...I'm torn between two guys.

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 July 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

ive been with my bf for 5 months now and my first love has been in touch! he says he loves me and wants me back says we were always the perfect couple i do still really love him so i just dont know what to do weve got so much history and were more suited but i feel so bad about this new bf i dnt want to hurt him and he keeps saying he cant ever loose me and he doesnt no what he would do if he ever lost me this makes me feel even worse when he says that and it just makes me not want to be with him. please help x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

would jus like to say thanks for ya answers guys jus to keep u updated i saw the ex last night an he told me he loves me so much an he wants to get a place together in the future. im still very torn but ive told my current bf i need a break so i can clear my head! i just need to make up my mind now, there are pro's an con's to both but i need to follow my heart.

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A male reader, Ted-ster United States +, writes (18 July 2009):

A few things. People are in your past for a reason. You say you have a history with your old BF. Not sure if this is the case, but women have a tendancy to be attracted to guys who treat them like shit, and in turn treat guys who treat them well, like shit: curious irony there. However, based on what you said, I think you owe it to yourself to allow your ex to take you out to dinner, go on a date, particularly if you have residual feelings for him. Even if it's for only for the purpose to bring closure, to say to him that you think of him fondly (whether you do or not), but that you have a new BF. However, if you still love your ex, be open minded about the possiblity of getting back together. It's only fair to yourself, your current BF, and your ex. Although I agree with rockinzilla, you have to choose. It's not at all cool to torture your current BF. Who knows? maybe after your date with ex, you'll appreciate your current BF more. Keep us posted! BTW, don't even think about sleeping with your ex for some time-- it will cloud your judgment, and you absolutely positivey do NOT want to turn this thing with your ex into a booty call -- because then you'll ruin your relationship with the current good guy BF, even if you desperately relaize that want to continue with your current BF!! You will ruin it forever. So don;t have a couple of glasses of wine/beer, talking about the old days..... Trust me. Good luck.

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A female reader, rockinzilla United States +, writes (18 July 2009):

rockinzilla agony auntone thing is for sure...you have to choose one.think first about who you could actually see yourself still with later on. Your bf should understand about how you feel,plus you guys havent been going out that long.If you let him down easy it will be better.

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