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Help, what should I do?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 February 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *arree writes:

I'm currently in a extremely confusing situation... it all started when my best friend began dating this boy I liked which was very annoying because he was the first boy I liked since secretly loving, having drunken relations and trying desperatly hard to hate this other boy for about 3 years.

I wasn't bitter about it i was supportive and even helped him pick somthing out for her for her for valentines day it was hard but i knew he liked her more me plus i would never do anything to hurt my friend.

I'm not sure how it came about but they both began asking me who i liked. I lied an said someone diffrent he belived me but my friend was able to tell i was lieing, i lied repeatedly about it and she was beggining to say 'you usually tell me straight away, why arnt u now?'so eventually i settled on a convincing lie... i said i liked one of the hottest boys in my year, i though it was believable but i could tell my best friend wasn't entirley convinced and she thought there was a slight chance i could like my other good friend. I guess she just thought i was confused between my good boy friend and the hottest boy and thats why i was hesitant about telling her, which was fine because we stopped dicussing it and i was thankfull for that.

Then the confusion really began! i found out my good boy friend liked me! and since he was friends with my best friend and the hot boy, so they both knew aswell and began subtley droping hints for me to go out with him... my best friend asked me if there was a possibility i could like him and we could go out... i gave a very vague reply but i also love attention so i was contemplating this new oppertunity! They must have said to good boy friend because he asked me out that night and i said yes because i didn't want to hurt him,i do like him and he's good looking.

But all that goes through my head now is wheather 3 years boy will approve of good boy friend and me. I know it sounds like i really care about his opinion but sometimes he says things and i just hate him for it because it's either just rude or condescending and he's so confusing, i just don't know where i stand!

It makes me feel terrible for my new boyfriend because i have moments where i think we would be great together and we should be together! then i have moments where i hope for him not to be invited to the same social gatherings and i think about it and deem it a 'hassel'

I know he really likes me and at times i think it can work plus at these times i WANT it too work but then there are the other times and the other people so im just so unsure! it's made me extremely unhappy altough i can cover it very well to all my friends and most of the time to my family.

Basically my mood is very up and down and I want it too work, I definitely don't want to hurt my boyfriend that's the last thing I want,honestly! but sometimes I think we should be together to go to prom together... it's delusional and not right I know... but making it work is better than hurting him and the grief I would get from hottest boy, my best friend and most other people.

View related questions: best friend, drunk

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009):

Wow. thats awkward. you knnow what you should try your hardest to be honest with your b.f, if you arent youll end up hurting him and you dont want that. The other guy, if hes worth you, then you should be honest with your best friend and see how things go. ive been where you are and i learned to forget the other guy.

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