A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello DearCupid People, I hope you can help. My problem seems to be that I blame everyone and everything for the fact that I am so unhappy and the worse thing is I blame the people I love. I blame my parents for taking up years of my life and money caring for them and then leaving me in the lurch when I needed them, even though I know they are in a bad place themselves and I love and really want to help them. I blame my sister for taking away my career by using my achievements to further her own career and for treating me like nothing whenever she wants. I blame my partner for never leaving me alone until I agreed to get back with him despite him knowing that I hate the way he lives and am really lonely and unhappy with him. I know it is all my fault but at the same time when I remember how I used to be (poor but independent and happy and successful) I am sometimes so angry I don't know what to do and it is driving me mad. Also I am exhausted and so cannot see a way forward apart from learning to live with misery so I feel stuck with this. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): Hello, this is the original poster. Dear OlderSister, thank you so much for your extremely helpful, sensible and sensitive reply, and the second poster too. Ever since I read it I have been saying to myself "I had a choice" and "I have a choice". It is both terrifying, upsetting and encouraging. I can't quite believe I got to this state, but I will no longer allow myself to feel trapped in the coils of helplessness. And I know this will save the people I love too. Thank you again. Fingers crossed!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): I would Listen to oldersister on this one...Take personal resposibility or others carry your shadows.
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