A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17 going to be an 18 year old teenager. I feel stuck in this circumstance of loneliness. For the past couple years I have still trying to get over this guy who left me without a word, as pathetic as it sounds... I was distraught and felt like I had loss someone like I was grieving. I never showed anyone how hurt I was until I came to grips with it, and now years later more stronger more wiser, I still have him in my head...no way to track him down it is like he is dead. tried to get over him but it always come back to him I do things to occupy my mind but it always comes back to him. I wouldnt say that this was love between me and him but I was very close to it. So my question is many of them can I heal? when will I ever meet someone who made me feel like dat again? will a boyfriend really secure all my insecurities?. I have turned bitter but I dont want to be no more... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo jasonX the first person to reply to my message just ti tell you that I found it really helpful thanks and your right he is a chicken shit lol thanks again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Well you can bet your teen-side is holding onto these feelings a lot. I was like you once, one difference was that she told me she wanted to break up but I never saw her again after that.
So yeah I know what thats like. If you want to heal you will have to learn to accept the past and move on. A lot of times we find ourselves thinking about the past and trying to find hints and clues but but matter how much times we do that, reliving the past will not help. Accept the strong person you are becoming and live in the "now" and aim for the future. A boyfriend may or may not help but a close friend will def help. But truly the problem is our self and isn't not something we should look to others for them to fix and just "hope for the best". You know you are strong so trust it. Only you know who you are so believe in yourself. You are not bitter so no More of that.
In one hand you know what you want out of love so at least you know what it feels like. You can very well find it in another guy. Perhaps one that isn't a coward chicken shit :)
I hope this helps some. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, GabiLC  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 You are not over him because there was never any closure. There was no "goodbye" or "it's over". The only way to start to get over him officially is to say out loud "it's over, (his name) and I'm ready to move on. It's time for us to see other people. It's time for me to find a new love. I hate the way you left, but I forgive you because you have helped to make me into a stronger woman". Then sit back and laugh. Laugh until your cheeks hurt. Go out with some girlfriends and have fun. Show alittle skin and be a flirt. Remind yourself that life goes on. When you show the world of men that you're not a bitter old hag, they'll flock to you. Be confident. I hope this helps!
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