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Help!!! How do I get over my first love?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 September 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 23 September 2009)
A female Australia age 30-35, *iralee writes:

hey, i just dont know what to do... last night i found out that my ex bf and this other girl have been together for a year... this kills me :( me and him havent even been apart for a year yet, it has only been 5-6 months... he has lied to me continuously :( i couldnt believe it when i saw it... my heart just broke a millions times more then after we broke up, and that hurt just as much, i layed in bed at night and cried myself to sleep... i havent been able to sleep much lately either :( the past few months i havent been able to figure out if he still felt for me or not... a few weeks ago i went to his house, prob shouldnt of but i did :( he hardly spoke to me much... i just wanted to find out if he still felt for me or if he moved on, he wouldnt give me answers, he just said that he thought he liked this other girl but doesnt much anymore and he didnt know if he still felt for me... *sigh* but he wanted a hug and i hugged him and then he wanted a kiss but i didnt :( cause i just couldnt... then a few weeks after that we were speaking online and he started speaking about making love to me and stuff, he said that i was the only girl he wanted to experience it with and the only girl who he ever thinks about it with and stuff... i told him the same thing but i said that i wouldnt do anything like that unless i was in a steady relationship, then he went on about memories, a night that we spent together awhile ago... he said that he wanted to see me to see how things were between us, i was so excited... couldnt wait to see him, got there and we watched a movie... then we layed on the bed and cuddled and touched, he wouldnt kiss me though, which really got to me... then it stopped, he went to get a drink and i did something that i prob shouldnt have done... :( i read a page of his chat logs with this other girl, when i read it my heart just broke inside... i tried my best not to cry infront of him, it said things like i miss you... and all that stuff, i went home, crying... then he tells me that they arent together because of her parents and he nationality... it was just another lie... last night i read a comment from him on 1 of her pages... it said happy 1 yr beautiful, i love everything about you too, never gonna let you go, i promise... i just cant believe he lied to me for that long and played me like that :( i wasnt allowed to see him last year or speak to him but i did... and he was suppose to wait for me, i was waiting for him... but i never knew that he had started going out with her in september, 3 months before me and him started seeing each other again and continuing our relationship... i knew something might have been going on but every single time i asked him he would say no he get angry at me, telling me how i never believe anything he said... i had dreams of them together :( when we broke up he said it was because i couldnt trust him, he didnt really give me a proper explanation for it :( *sigh* i feel like everything we went through meant nothing, i feel like all my memories are corrupted :( every time i think of them i get so upset... it hurts like crazy :( he told me he would never risk us, he said he wanted to be with me forever... he even lied to my face when i was crying about how worried i was about him and her :( he even had tears in his eyes when he said nothing would happen and that he would always love me... how could he lie to me like that... :( mm so many memories are just flooding through my head atm and it hurts so much inside... i just want the old him back, the guy i thought he was... who i loved with all my heart, who i have cried so many tears for... :( but hes gone, its like i never even knew him at all... /3 how do i move on... i dont want to hurt like this anymore, i have tried so hard for the last couple of months to move on but i just havent been able to...

sorry that this is so long /3

View related questions: broke up, move on, my ex

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2009):

It takes time to get over your first love. Especially if you know they've hurt you. So focus on that. He hurt you and wsan't right for you because he lied. Next, organize some time with your friends and have fun. There's no need to rush anything with another guy. Just give yourself time to heal by going out and socializing and just having fun! Eventually, another guy will come along. And he'll be better. x

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