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He won't stand up to his mom for me!

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 June 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 June 2010)
A female Australia age 36-40, *at_33 writes:

My partners mum will not allow me to go to any family functions for birthdays etc. It was his birthday last month so he went to his mums house which is across the road for a birthday dinner. He asked if I could attend and she said no. Last night I said to him why cant you stand up for me. He said to me you are not hurt enough by all of this when I can see you are hurting enough I will stand up for you. I can never see him standing up for me. He also said how do you think my mum feels its like a kick in her face that you are living with me, when it was his idea that I move in with him. What should I do? I love him and would find it hard to move on. What is the best way to deal with this?

View related questions: move on

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010):

Okay you obviously seem to be on a complete DIFFERENT PAGE from your boyfriend in quite a few different areas. Referring to this post & the link below.

Honestly none of your posts seem like a balanced 50/50 relationship. It seems as if your feelings are never being taken into consideration in anything...that's just obvious. If he is showing no desire to listen to your problems or work on the relationship, then it needs to end.

Honey, if you are unhappy, then you need to leave. I can't make it more simple than that.

Best of luck to you!

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A female reader, busy04 United States +, writes (12 June 2010):

busy04 agony auntIf he has to ask permission to bring the person he's with along, then obviously he himself has some growing up to do.

This is not a matter to sweep under the rug or for you to "be hurt enough" to begin dealing with it. You need to speak to his mother directly and find out what issues she's holding.

Beyond that my advice is simple. If you have the heart, love & patience to be looked over for his mother, then by all means stay with him and deal with these situations, because it won't be the last time. If you refuse to be put on the back burner & be respected by someone who should respect you, then leave now.

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