A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 6 years we have two kids together and a house. He had gone on a stag do and came home with foundation all over his top. (around the armpit as if he was hugging some one). When i confronted him he said he didn't know why it was there and shouted a bit, he then left for a friends and came home an hour later telling me he had spoken to one of his friends he went out with, and his shirt was the same. We have argued all day and now he is full of apologies...as i've told him i want him to leave. He says that a girl was coming up to him, but swears that nothing happened, and he cannot prove to me that nothing happened. What should i do? My gut says he's cheating, but it also says he wouldn't do something to ruin what we have - which has been a great relationshipPlease help.
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cheated on me, stag Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, q1605  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 for the anonymous woman. Oh ye of little faith. There are guys out there that will not cheat on their wife for no other reason than it is wrong. Let's modify your numbers to a more realistic representation of life. Let's say 99 percent of men would cheat on their wife if they knew they could get away with it. What demographic does this one guy fall into? I haven't a clue. But it would be a mistake to look for him amongst the pillars of the community and the leaders of church and state.
A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (12 April 2008):
if it wasn't a bachelor party I would say kick him to the curb. But a stripper at a bachelor party has earned the negotiated pay by just showing up. Anything that she gets beyond this will come in the way of tips. These girls are very single minded about removing every bit of cash they can detect in the room. I've seen'em get on a roll and its about all you can do to keep them shoved off of you. Some of these girls really have a talent for emptying a room of cash and making it an enjoyable experience as well. But more often than not it they come off as shallow and patronizing. They are selling the illusion that they can be bought. The smeared make up is actually a better sign of them not doing anything. It shows their determination to keep them baited without actually producing the goods. They were selling the sizzle like a motherfucker but the steak stayed firmly under wraps.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (12 April 2008):
 I can see why you would be concerned but I don't think it means he cheated on you. I'm not sure about bachelor parties in your country, but here, there are usually strippers and they give lap dances and the foundation could have been from that. I think you may have overreacted a bit on this one by breaking up but then again, if you don't trust him in general, this could have been the last straw. He certainly made things worse by yelling and getting defensive so I can see why you are so upset. I'm not sure why you would be so surprised though about what really goes on there. I would talk to him in a more rational way and be calm and non-accusatory and see if he tells you the truth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): Yea, he wouldn't do something to ruin what you have if you were to know about it. Obviously he did not think you would find out about it..I can bet that 100% of men would cheat on their partners if they knew for a fact that their partner would not find out. It is not in human men's ability to be with one woman forever and not at least want to stray. It's just thier nature. If you asked me, I would say he cheated on you. It can't be proven however but that really sucks that you can't trust your partner. By the way, why is it that you have 2 kids and a house together but you are not married? That says a lot right there about his commitment level to you. There is not much you can do because I don't think he is going to admit to what really happened. But I would seriously question your relationship and his commitment to you at this point.
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A
female
reader, tick-tick-boom +, writes (12 April 2008):
 well this is a tricky one.
If you really dont believe your guy you lack trust which is not a good thing to lack in a relationship.
If he is being honest then you wouldnt be so suspicious prehaps you should ask around at the club.
And look out for signs, it's probably nothing.
You shouldn't make any huge decisions you might regret. think about it.
Most importantly talk to him without any raised voices, try be calm and nice
Good luck X
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