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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi. my boyfriend feels it is time we settle down and get married. i love him with all my heart and him the same. The problem is that he wants us to travel someone new and start over because both of us arent really making it with regards to our careers and getting enough money. But settling down in a new location without much finances isnt going to be easy.He isnt happy that i am relunctant with his plans especially getting married now when we are still unstable.i would have really loved for us to sort out our relocation before considering marriage knowing the additional expenses we will have to incur. He says i am dragging my feet and he is questioning my feelings for him as well as his ability to support me.He feels that we can achieve anything if we are together and he is angry cos he feels that i think with my head most of the time instead of my heart. How can i make him see the bigger picture? Or am i wrong trying to get things done at the right time?i want to marry him but i just want things to be more settled. thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): Marriage is a big event and something you can look back on throughout your life. You don't want it to be a shabby little meeting.
Plan your expenses because these days it is SO easy for young couples to get into debt.
Talk to your husband and say that you understand he is keen and make sure he knows you are too but tell him that doing these two things one after the other with only a little bit of money is NOT a good idea.
Your husband DOES need to open his eyes to reality a bit more because otherwise you're both going to end up in trouble.
Perhaps you could sort out some sort of meeting with a financial advisor?
An idea would be to save up; get yourselves married so you're both in a stable position and then save up for a bit longer so you ca move away.
Think this over; otherwise it's going to be something you'll regret for life.
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