A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hiiii m 22 years old and i have a boyfriend. we both are virgin. we already have oral sex. he is now asking for anal sex.i want to but i have some problems.what are the changes that happen to body after having sex first time??? does it hurts lot first time??main problem is, we are not sure we could marry or not its upto circumstances. if i didnt marry my boyfriend, then my husband will came to know that my hymen is broken and i m not virgin and it may effect my relationship. does hymen really breaks during sex??and does it bleeds with pain??...please help me out.
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male
reader, Who  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 I agree with the answer below, anal sex is going to be a difficult first time for you. Not least of all because if you boyfriend is a virgin he is not going to know the first time how to make it easy for you. It may or may not be good for him, but I guessing it will not be good for you. If you two choose to try this anyway, you can use the search feature on this site for advice on how to do it.
Most women have a hymen and frequently it breaks when they have intercourse for the first time. This is the main change that happens to a women's body after first time sex. But some girls break their hymen before having sex, when doing gymnastics, horseback riding, etc. Often there is blood when it breaks but not always. Women’s bodies come in different shapes and sizes. With some women the hymen is thick and covers almost the entire opening; it breaks with great difficulty and bleeds a lot. With others it is thin with few blood vessels, and it only closes off part of the opening, if there is any bleeding it may not drip to the outside where it can be seen. Different women experience different amounts of pain; some have no pain at all. In general the more you want sex, the less pain you can expect. If you google “hymen” you can get a lot more information on this subject.
Most people on this site will tell you honesty is very important in marriage, and would advise against starting yours by lying to your husband about being a virgin. However marriage is different in different parts of the world and in different cultures. Some places marriage is more of a partnership than a romance, and sometimes it is an unequal partnership. If you believe you are in a situation where you need to be a little deceptive, I can suggest a little acting on your part, particularly acting to make the first time with your husband good for him. It could be having a good first time with his wife is why he wants his wife to be a virgin. When your husband enters you the first time, act like it hurts, and you don’t mind it hurting if it feels good for him. If he asks you if you want to stop say no, he should keep going but ask him if he can please be a little gentle. This will make him feel like a powerful man, who has a desirable wife, a wife who knows and respects his power. And he can choose to control his power for his wife’s sake. I know that sounds silly, but men are often silly.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (28 December 2010):
 OK First off anal should NOT be your first time. It hurts even if you arent a virgin. Another thing is if you have anal sex you dont have a hymen to worry about. Your first time will most likely hurt, you may bleed but in the end you should be able to enjoy it eventually. Your body wont really change after sex, your emotions may. While your are right about your future husband and the hymen, if you go without having sex for a while and then do you will tighten up down there again and it may hurt a bit, but you shouldnt bleed.
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