A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'm 22 years old and my boyfriend that i've been with for 3 years wants to have kids...and he keeps naggin me about it...i don't know how to tell him that i dont really want kids..... at all... well idk mayb wen im like 40 but im young and i luv the way i look and i got a great job and i dont want a baby gettin in the way...i luv him very much and we have a great relationship...but he's really stuck on this kid thing and i dont want to cause friction in our relationship cus he's like supper sensitive....how do i tell him with out hurting his feelings and without sounding like an evil bitch that i don't want no kids
View related questions:
want a baby Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Be honest with him and tell him that at 22, you're just not ready. You want to develop more as a person and really enjoy life before you take the initiative to share that life with a baby. Men often don't get how much more women are affected by having kids. But honestly, waiting til you are 40-bad idea. Our eggs are pretty much hard boiled by then :p it gets less safe for both you and your baby. If you really don't want kids, be honest. Don't give him false hope, it's cruel to you both. Talk it over, maybe you need time to think it through. You can ask him not to nag you for a year or two and let you think about the matter in peace. At your age, there's no rush. Kids get more expensive and before rushing to that, you both need to save up anyway and you both need to be ready.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (27 November 2010):
 40? I hope you were exaggerating for effect. Female fertility hits its peak at 27. Things start to get rougher in your 30's. At 40 you could very well find it difficult to conceive, and the kids will be more likely to have disorders like autism or Down's.
With that said, babies should always, always be a mutual decision. Make it clear you don't want kids, and that if he wants them, he either has to learn to do without or find someone else. Be polite, but firm, and above all clear. It would be every bit as unfair to falsely make him think kids are a possibilty as it would be for him to make you have kids before you're ready. If it causes a breakup, so be it. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (27 November 2010):
 You have every right to stand up for your decision, especially considering it's -your- body that would be carrying the brunt of a pregnancy. Besides, 22 is too young to have children these days. As long as you calmly discuss with him what you want in your future, you're not going to sound like an evil bitch. His feelings may be hurt, but having a child you're not ready for would be much worse, wouldn't it?
...............................
|
