A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I am imterested in this guy at work who has told me he just wants a bit of fun now and again, the problem is I have never had any interaction with a bloke and I don't want him to know, how can I become more confident or come across more confident without him guessing that I have never had sex or anything.
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female
reader, Crierwy  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 First, please ask yourself if you really want to be someone's bit of fun. If you really do, then you have nothing to worry about here. Everyone starts out having an idea of what sex should be like. Most of us find it's nothing like what we imagined, because our partners have their own ideas. That means no matter how experienced you are, you still have no experience with this person. You can read about secondary erogenous zones and impress him with some new trick, but I recommend waiting until you are comfortable with the basics. It's not unlikely that this guy finds your innocence very attractive, but if you really want to learn enough to impress, you are going to have to talk to him about it. Ask him questions about what he likes. If he's like most guys, he'll love that you are comfortable and confident enough to talk about something many other women won't. It should really turn him on and you might be surprised at what you learn. Talk, flirt, tease, pet, take all the time you need for foreplay. Don't jump into bed if you both aren't good and warmed up. You want to get him so hot that he's focused on his fear of poor performance that he won't even consider you inexperienced. If he wants to do something you aren't comfortable doing, tell him that you haven't done that and you aren't interested in it right now. He might beg and plead or offer to teach you, but wait until you are comfortable with him and what he wants. Don't let anyone make you feel bad.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers + ♥, writes (27 August 2008):
If you have never had sex then DO NOT go out with this guy.
You don't have the experience or confidence to control your feelings. You'll get very very hurt by him when he treats you badly. Because he is going to treat you like a casual mate and not a girlfriend.
Don't let your first time be some guy's "bit of fun." You are worth more than that.
Plus the fact he is going to be able to tell that you are a virgin as soon as it's too late, and if he's a nice guy, then that is going to make him feel terrible.
Tell him that you are looking for a boyfriend and not a sex buddy.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Befuddled1 +, writes (27 August 2008):
 Eh? A bit of fun now and again?Hmm, that sounds a bit ropey. Hope he isn't married girl.If you feel like you'll be happy having a bit of fun every now and again then go for it. He doesn't know what experience you've had and we all have to start somewhere.I've always found it a bit awkward with someone new and couldn't do anything intimate with a man unless i have feelings for him.If i were you i'd go on a date or 2 and see what happens, Don't do anything you don't want to...women who have had other partners don't always dive into something straight away and if you do want to take things further just go with the flow and enjoy it.Don't get yourself a reputation at work though honey, might be better to wait for someone who wants a bit more than a bit of fun. You are worth more than that no?x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): Well i may not be a girl. But i no alot of em and they ask me
for advice (not alot but when they need it) and i am a guy so
i would know.
-simply read a book about it
One fella who....just cares....
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