A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is my boyfriend now saying he doesn't want a future with me? Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year, a few months ago he was always the one to be so positive about us, and say he wanted to marry me and have children with me, where as I was the one to say "be realistic about this were young its unlikely, we haven't been together long", but it still made me feel great because i thought someone actually wanted me and to keep me forever. We were talking a couple of months ago, I didn't want to mention it then but he had stopped saying things like he wanted children with me and that, but I said to him "you seem to be seeing things more realistically now, like you aren't as serious as you were " I'm not sure if he knew what I was getting at, but he said I am serious I want us to last etc.. Then tonight, I complimented him on how much he cared for his family, he then replied "yeah I want it to stay the same for my own (maybe ours one day)" I chose this opportunity to ask him why he never mentioned things about our future anymore and he said "I would like it to happen , just It seems less and less likely with every argument we have , so i sort of stopped hoping for it to happen" this really hurt me, he always made me feel wanted and now he just doesn't see anything happening, I don't want to be told that I'm immature because we were talking so soon about marriage, I just want to hear people's thoughts please x thank you
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 April 2013):
 you are together nearly a year... in the beginning we all think the new one is the one we want to be with forever.. that's what makes new relationships so exciting..
after time, and seeing the real person, reality sets in and if a person spoke about permanency they have to backtrack.
so reality has reared it's head and he's being more realistic and now you are are all hurt and sad...
so he's not saying NO, he's no longer sure...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): He no longer has to make false or empty promises about wanting to get married or have children in order to have sex with you, so he doesn't.
If you're shacking up with him, then he's already getting what he wants and so has no incentive to up the ante. While a guy will say anything get a girl into bed, he doesn't necessarily have to mean what he says, and usually doesn't.
Don't believe what he SAYS, believe what he DOES (or doesn't do).
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