A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid I know this is long, please please please read it through. I am basically from India and got separated from my husband since he treated me so badly. i got into a relationship with a guy in office, we were friends for sometime and then started dating. He is younger to me by 2 years. He said he dated aound 10-12 girls before and he dumped everyone since he gets bored being with the same women for more than 6 months and never really committed to anyone. He used everyone for his sexual release (which is quite uncommon in our country dating more than 10 girls). Often says future is uncertain so cant commit to anyone since we never know what happens in future. but said i am diff from other girls and he really really loves me. I lended him nearly 6000$ (all my savings) which i never got it back not even an single dollar. Few days before he broke up with me saying he cant be with someone for more than 6 months (our relationship was about 9 months) and he is getting attached to me which he doent like it and wanted to get other girls for dating. Ofcourse he said he can get anyone he wants and he is a real charmer. He is an aries, which explains his behaviour though.I couldnt let him go and called him couple of times, he said he cant go back on his decision and so its a definite break up and switched off his cell. I really wanted to know why he behaved this way? I really loved him and belived him when he said he loves me. Why cant i let it go? It still hurts to think about him and the break up.i really wanted to move on. I know he is not good for anyone, but still i love him. What makes me love him this much even though he hurt me so much.Please please help me, so i can move on. Thanks for reading the entire post. really really appreciate it.
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female
reader, LaDiabla13 +, writes (10 November 2010):
This worked for me:
Get out a piece of paper. On one side write down all the positives about him and on the other side write down all the negative.
I did it for my ex; had over 100 negatives and like 12 positives
A
female
reader, sugarcandy +, writes (9 November 2010):
He used you. And he is a user. This seems to be his MO (particular way of life). I don't think you can change anything about that, and I think he's being honest when he says he gets bored.
He clearly has issues with emotional commitment, as he told you.
Now I would pursue legal recourse for the $6K. Did you lend it as a gift? Or was there the underlying statement that he would pay you back?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): Darlin u mst first luv ur self n 2 me by givin him money especial ths mch it sound lyk u were buyin his luv n anyway u dnt derseve ths guy n u shld let him go u knw why cos if u keep holdin 2 him it wil b easy 4 him 2 cum bck n use u again cos he wil tel u wht u wht 2 hear by then nd u wil end up bein depress n there's a man out there who wil luv n respect u nd always remember tht in future u dnt jst give ur bf money.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): This guy sounds like a user and a womaniser. You should have thought twice when he told you that he can't date women for more than 6 months and that he gets bored easily. If most woman heard this they would run a mile. He even told you he uses woman for his own sexual release! Didn't that put you off at all?
You're asking why he did this, why he behaved that way. Basically, it's because he can and women like you, who are maybe a little niave and believe all the BS he feeds you, help him. He didn't love you, he told you what you wanted to hear and when he got what he wanted he dropped you.
Why did you give him money when you hardly even knew him anyway?
Yes, most of the blame is on his side but you've got to look back at your actions too and how all this could have been avoided. I think you are old enough now to realise that some men use women, tell them what they want to hear and dump them. It's a horrible thing but that's life. When a guy tells you he loves you, especially only after a short while, you should be cautious and think before believeing every word he says.
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