A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:last september i got chatting to a guy online that i met through a dating site we eventually met and have done six times as he works abroad and isnt in the country much. Anyway wen we first met we met three times which two of the times we stayed in hotels then four months later he came bk but in between we were talking everynight on the internet for about 3 to fours hours a night b 4 he came bk the second time he said he didnt want to be with me anymore as in a b/f and g/f relationship becoz i needed someone more supportive in the uk and he cudnt be there for me how i needed him to be but i still met him wen he came over and we stayed together twice the first time for two nights and the second time for 1 nite b 4 he went bk, he wants to stay friends but says i have to move on which im finding really difficult to do cos certain little things he says to me makes me believe he still cares for me i dont know what to do?
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 He probably does care for you but you shouldn't mistake this to mean he is willing to have a relationship with you in a way you find fulfilling. I am sure he is more than comfortable chatting with you and having sex with you without giving you the commitment you want so now the ball is in your court. What should you do? Well, if you are not comfortable with the above terms, you don't accept them. This does not mean that by not accepting them, you look to him to redefine the terms for you or seek his permission or approval. This means you take the information you are already armed with and make a decision and let your actions support that. If you are willing to continue this limited relationship knowing it will not go further, he has told you this, then see it for what it is and don't fool yourself that you can change it later. It doesn't work that way. Of course he will still flirt with you, it's fun for him, but please don't think that means anything more than that.
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