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He told me hes attracted to this girl at work and now I cant trust him!!

Tagged as: Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 April 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Iv been with my bf for 2 yrs now. He just recently told me he met this girl at work who he really gets on with and was attracted to, he gave her his number and given her lifts home a few times.

When he told me I was so hurt, he told me he instantly regretted it and he really loves me. I really dont know what to do as I dont know if i'll trust him again.

I cant live without him though and he keeps telling me he doesnt want to lose me as it is serious between us.

Please help!

View related questions: at work, girl at work

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2006):

DrPsych agony auntThis is a tough one. At one level, he was honest with you and at least confessed his wandering eyes in the office. It doesn't sound like he actually cheated; there was just an attraction. At another level, the fact he is looking elsewhere must be a worry for you and there appears to be a problem in your current relationship that only you can sort out with him. Don't think you cannot live without him as being dependent on someone, and used to having them around is not a good reason to maintain a relationship, especially one that is going bad. You can live without him, you were able to do so before you met him. It sounds like it is time to talk about the rules of your relationship with him (e.g. not handing out phone numbers to the ladies). If he isn't prepared to treat you with respect then he is not worth it.

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A female reader, Angel ron +, writes (1 May 2006):

Angel ron agony auntToo right you shouldn't trust him. Who does he think he is? where is his loylaty towards you?. If I were you get rid of him if he wants to sleep around with other women then he should do it without you. and shouldn't too time and decive you. No get rid of him he's a jerk.

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A male reader, jimmy2 United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2006):

jimmy2 agony auntHi,

I have to admit that this is a difficult situation, but you have done nothing wrong here and that is the first thing to remember.

You both need to sit down and have a serious talk about how to better your relationship. He needs to consider your emotions here, but at least he has been honest with you about this and not hidden it from you, but I question why he has told you in the first place. Is he trying to make you jealous, or is he just a genuinely honest guy?

Now that the trust has been lost between you, it will be difficult to fully restore but if you are both willing to put this incident behind you, and for this he has to stop giving her lifts home, then I think you have a chance of resolving this before things go too far.

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