A
female
age
41-50,
*ree
writes:Hi, feeling really confused and full of frustration, let me start at the beginning and maybe someone can shed some light on the situation for me....I met this guy at my AA meetings and we became pretty good friends, i enjoy doing sweat lodges and spiritual things and he has the same interests we are both on a spiritual journery and we relate alot to one another, a group of us went to a sweat lodge a little while ago and stayed in a Boma which is big room with one double bed and stretchers to sleep on. the guys said i can take the bed since i'm a lady and all, when we all turned in for the evening this friend of mine could just not get comfortable and was driving us all mad with his tossing and turning, he eventually decided to sleep on the floor and i said that is ridiculous and i did not mind if he wanted to share the double bed with me as long as he slept above the covers,well, while i was trying to go to sleep i could feel someone looking at me and i turned around and saw this face with a huge grin, it was rather cute :), i asked him what's up and he said he had waited along time for a moment like this just to lay next to me on a bed, i was truly taken aback, so we ended up talking for hours and shared a few kisses(which were very nice), he basically told me he had liked me for a long time and was surprised i had never noticed, i told him it was all a bit sudden and did not wanna make any quick decisions,the next day was great we went hiking in nature and did a sweat in the evening and talked and really bonded etc, all our energies were so alive and we all felt such joy and love, so that evening when we went to bed we were intimate and it was really wonderful we had a great connection, after a nice weekend we returned to the land of the living and spent the Monday evening together it was out of this world, only problem is he was going to Peru the next day for 6 weeks to see his baby he had only just found out about a month before,we had a serious talk and he felt he should rather stay and I said no that it is important for him to see his baby,he was honest with me and said he does not want to have a relationship with the Mom, but she was expecting more than just frienship he never knew we would be together and was not sure what to do now, i said he should follow his heart "what will be will be", he is arriving back in a week and his emails dont relate anything to what might happen with us they are very short and sweet, i know i sound selfish but i cannot help the way i feel he does not even throw me a bone it's asif nothing even happened between us, i know he is confused and loves his baby very much, from what he has said in the emails he is not persuing a relationship with the Mom, but he is filled with many mixed feelings. I just do not know how i should be towards him or should i wait for him to maybe say something, should i take it that we are not together that is was a once off even after everything he said to me, he told me that when he was in Peru last time he had a prophecy done and it said he would be with a girl that has blonde hair and green eyes, which is what i have and he knew it was meant to be when he saw me, is it possible that after six weeks this has just flown out the window, really feel mixed up about this....want him to come back and say let's be together and live happily ever after but i know i should not put expectations on anything that's when we get hurt, i just cannot fathom why this has happened if he never told me how he felt especially just before leaving for Peru i would have been fine and none the wiser, feels like im just taking this to far, how do i snap out of whatever iam feeling and just move on. I keep playing everything over in my mind and just cant seem to figure out if im over reacting or is it normal to feel this way ???
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 I wouldn't try telling him how you feel just yet. Give your friendship time to grow. Relax and enjoy the time you have together, it won't help him in his confusion to put any pressure on him at this point.
A
female
reader, Tree +, writes (19 June 2007):
Tree is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow thanks, you really make me feel a whole lot better, you should really try and read what i am actually asking, i was not referring to him having sex with this lady if that is the case well so be it, people have urges and i do unerstand that, i was asking how i should be when he returns, whether is should tell him how i feel or just let bygones be bygones, strange how everything on this earth relates back to sex, it's so sad, Thank God i have a wonderul life that can be fulfulling without bonking like a rabbit every 5 min.
I appreciate your "advice", maybe you should help someone that has sex issues, read your profile, trying to see how it fits to the response i got, maybe they got you mixed up with someone else, anyway thank again i think !!!may your day be filled with Love and Light !!!
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (19 June 2007):
Gee! Six weeks with a woman,the mother of his child, in Peru and no sex. If I were the Pope and knew of such a man, Hey! He would be up for sainthood tomorrow. Gosh! Six weeks with the child's mother,and no sex. Hell! I am not even the father of the child, and even at 80, years young, You bet I would have sex with the woman,(Note I said sex not love), if she let me. Sweetheart, You two only have sex going for you, as I see it The glue that makes any,and all relationships work, is commitment. And I don't see any of that in your relationship.
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