A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Ive just started a relationship with a friend who I have known for a year. I think our morals/values r pretty similar. However the other day I was telling him how one of my friends flirts with another one of my frineds bfs all the time. My bf didnt seem to understand why it was bad. he said that it was just a joke, harmless flirting, why is it a problem if it dindt mean anything???i dont see it like that. and this upsets mecuz it makes me worry he is gona flirt with other girls. i told him that the way i see it, is that when my friend flirts with our other frineds bf, its disrespectful to my friend who has the bf. he said 'yeah i guess...but still if its a joke she shoudlnt take it seriously'. so now im having some doubts about our relationship. i dont think i could cope with a guy who thinks its ok to flirt. i dont know what to do. do i try to force my point of view, in hope he will change his? do i dump him because us not agreeing would cause alot of issues?? or do i need to change my way of thinking? am i overacting? i dont see how i could cope with him fliritng.
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male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (22 October 2007):
 Dear Anon.
I think you are blowing this situation out of proporsion, every one has a different view on flirting, i believe every ant and uncle on this page, will give you a diferrent answear to this depending on there life exsperiance.
My opinion is quit simple, people who flirt are only doing this to get attention, because some one is flirting, does not mean they would actually go out and do anything, they are always teasing people but with no end result.
I think it would not be in your best interest to finish with your bf, over suck a trivial matter.
It seems as if he is taking this with the comtemp it deserves,he is laughing it off, as a trivial matter because that is what it really is.
you dont have to change your views to suit any one, but on this occasion, i would let it go as two different points of view, not a bad thing really.
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