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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months. I'm 23 and he's 30. But he doesn't spend time with me. I can meet him only once a week and only for having sex. When I tell him "I wanna meet you, let's go out for dinner"... he says I have no time!I really love him and I enjoy spending time with him. When I ask him why he's acting like that, he says "I really like you and you are different from the other girls that I have been with. If I didn't want you I would break up in first month". Most of the times he doesn't pick up his phone when I call him. I think he doesn't wanna talk to me. He doesn't care about me but I love him. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2005): You may be different but sadly, the way he's treating you, he's not ready for a any type of relationship with you and I have to ask, why would you settle for him? You only want to get serious with a man who thinks you're gold; anything less and you're asking for heartbreak. There are lots of guys out there who would let you think things were serious while keeping an eye out for something better.
Another very alarming point I have to make with you, his behaviours are telling me he is either married or in another relationship and you are his token "bootycall". Not picking up the phone, no other dates except the "once per week" sex?? This guy is pretty scummy and you owe it to yourself to tell him "to hit the road!"
So now, the choice is yours. You can just cut him off at the pass and dump him because he's not prepared to give you anything but slim hopes and he's not committed to making this work (likely because he's married)...or you can hang in there and keep denying it to yourself & thinking that he honestly loves you, while this bad situation with him just gets worse and your self-esteem erodes to nothingness. Your choice-I sincerely hope you make the best one, because your well-being and sense of value are depending on what you choose. Good luck
A
female
reader, stacey126 +, writes (10 August 2005):
tell your boyfriend how you feel and explain that you dont want a relationship based only in the bedroom. keep suggesting places for you to go together and tell him that seeing each other only once a week for sex isnt good enough and if thats all he has time for then you have to find someone new. i can tell by reading your letter you are a person who deserves a good boyfirend who loves and cares for you. relationships can not be based only on sex because there is more to your life than that
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A
female
reader, S_J_K_J +, writes (9 August 2005):
Honestly,Realize what you are saying and feeling, No one should feel bad when they are in a relationship with someone.
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A
female
reader, honest&devoted +, writes (9 August 2005):
Girlfriend, You are a twenty three years old and you have your entire life ahead of you.
Face the facts - He meets you once per week, not for dinner, not for conversation, not for movies, not for meeting his family but for SEX.
Listen it does sound harsh, but he is using you. When someone truly cares about you, they want to know you, they want to know your strenghts, weaknesses, fears. They want to know how your day went.
He should be calling you, he should have time to go out with you or cuddle at home with you. For him its all about the SEX.
YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT.
Look deep within your heart. You will know if you are really happy and if this is what you want. If not, end the encounters with him because you definately do not have a relationship.
Spend time with someone who is worth your time and who wnats you as an individual and not just for sex.
Girl, please take care of yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2005): hiya hun. personally i think you need to talk to you boyfriend. things can't carry on the way they are. they are clearly making you doubtful of your relationship. talk to him and tell him he needs to treat you with more respect than he's showing you and that you want to see him and not just for sex. if that doesnt work, suggest some time apart but not break up. give him time to put things into perspective. if he really loves you, he'll make time for you and spend quility timw with you. hope that helps. good luck!
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