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He tells me he loves me, but he tells his friend something altogether different

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I went through a rough patch, with multiple breakups. Now, we are back together, and he insists that he loves me and wants to be with me. However, he tells his best friend that he wishes he would have broken up with me the first time "and run the other direction". Why is he telling me he wants to be with me, but telling his friend he doesn't?

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (24 February 2011):

Abella agony auntThat is conclusive enough proof for me. Thank you for the follow up. So sorry to hear that. He's guilty of lies to you. He's crass and not ready to love a woman.

And he's history as far as a boyfriend in my eyes. When he's progressed in his maturity, empathy, and has the skills of good judgement up to speed he might be ready. Ten years time? Maybe.

Be a lady over this, then the great divide between the two of you will be even more obvious. Because he is certainly no gentleman.

Exit with quiet resolve and dignity. No drama. Do not even give him the satusfaction of tears. Save those for private times. Also DO NOT even consider one of HIS friends as a suitable replacement. If he is immature then his friends will have similar attitudes. Because 'birds of a feather flock together' and 'your are the company you keep'

You need to reassess and find a better more suited guy who treats you with real Respect.

Due to his lapse (huge) in judgement I would find it impossible to forgive him on this one. He is meant to respect and care about you and be honorable.

Instead he has disrespected you and lied to you. There really are much nicer good guys out there.

And even if he has the looks of Wow! about him, even if he could charm the birds out of trees, and even if he drives the latest Maserati - He is NOT good enough for you after dissing you so badly behind your back.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yes, he definitely said it. He left the chat window open on my computer.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (24 February 2011):

Abella agony aunta loyal boy friend would never do this. Are you sure he said those words?

Or is someone else telling you he said those words?

Words flow easily from the mouth of a liar. And if really is telling his friend that and also telling you something else then he is lying to one of you.

If you can get proof that he said those things then i do not hold out much hope

For this relationship...

Best wishes

Abella

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