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He suggested a threesome; I'm feeling uncared for

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 March 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hey, just curious what it means of what my husband said; we have been married 15 years - last few years a bit shaky; suggests to me on a holiday when chilling out at a nude beach where we both went together that we should try a threesome and get another girl to sleep with us. I ask why and he says it'll be a different experience. He has previously cheated and not sure what to make of this suggestion presented in a cool / chilled out; innocent manner. I wanted to see how he'll take the reverse so I asked why don't we try a couple then and he agreed. I feel uncared for - am I taking it too far.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (24 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony aunttell him a threesome sounds great as long as it's with another man I like that idea. Most men balk at the idea of being near an erect penis other than their own.

here's the thing if you don't want to do it NO is an appropriate answer. If he hounds you about it, he's wanting to have another woman with permission....

your choice... let him or lose him. Personally if a man suggests it and a woman says no and it's a deal breaker for him, IMO he's no prize and should be let go anyway.

you have every right to say no

just like he has every right to ask

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2013):

If he is looking for a different experience, you could try suggesting he is monogamous for a while. He seems to be having a problem with that concept. If you have no interest in sleeping with another man or watching him have sex with another woman, you need to tell him so in no uncertain terms. Pretending to go along with things is sending him mixed signals. Just be honest with him. If you dont want to share him with other women and you are hurt that he would be fine with you having sex with another man if it meant he got to sleep with someone else, then explain how devalued that makes you feel.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2013):

AuntyEm agony auntSay you will do it only if the third person can be another man!

When your husband starts complaining 'Oh but that would not be any fun for me'

Just say 'Ahhh yep, I feel the same way about you bringing in another woman...guess the threesome thing is a bad idea for us both'

When men ask for threesomes, it's just another way for them to cheat...that's pretty much standard for a cheat and if you are married to one then you have to learn how to handle them...most women wouldn't bother!!

Good luck!

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