A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:The guy I have been dating told me at the beginning of our relationship that he did not want marriage or kids. I wasn't sure I wanted them either, so it seemed like we were on the same page. We didn't discuss the subject again until he recently brought it up and told me he'd been thinking about it a lot, and he decided our relationship had changed his mind and he now wants both. I'm not sure what to make of this, because he was previously in an 8 year relationship that he ended because she wanted marriage and kids. Is it really possible for someone to have such a huge change of heart? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 March 2020):
 Absolutely.
I didn't want kids until I meet my husband. I wasn't even sure about marriage either.
I wouldn't say my husband convinced me, because he didn't. He did say that he wouldn't MIND kids (he already had 2 when we met).
Some people change their minds as they mature. Some people don't. Maybe the reason he didn't want ANY with his ex, was because he was NOT as mature, and maybe he didn't want KIDS with her.
My advice for you is this. DO NOT have kids without a SOLID relationship, and maybe even marriage. OR unless YOU are 100% sure you want them. They are, after all, for life. :)
You didn't mention his age or how long you have been dating. And that can make a difference.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (11 March 2020):
 Absolutely he can change his mind.
Assuming he is of a vaguely similar age to you, he will have been in his previous relationship from a very early age. It is very common for such relationships to fall apart as people mature and grow apart. He didn't want marriage or children with his ex because the relationship was not right for him.
Now he has not only matured but also met someone who he can see a future with, so his view on marriage has also changed.
Take things slowly. Get to know this guy properly. Decide for yourself, firstly, whether YOU want marriage and children and, most importantly, whether you want them with HIM. Just a cautionary warning that he may change his mind again. The sparkling new relationship may have got him believing he is ready for more commitment. As the newness wears off, he may change his mind again.
As I said, take things slowly. Don't be swayed by what he wants. Decide for yourself what YOU want.
Good luck.
...............................
|
